2003-07-31
Part Three: Born in the USA
(continued from below)
Coming back into the US, the customs agent talked to me like I was a 10 year old, and he kept saying things that might have been jokes ("You don't have any boys hiding in the trunk." "You spent the afternoon in Windsor? Oh, is that why you're cowering.") but that I chose not to laugh at because, in my experience, customs agents don't have senses of humor. Apparently you need a passport or birth certificate to get into the United States from Canada now (which, now that I think about it, I think I actually knew this already), but since we hadn't planned on going to Canada, we didn't have these things. Mr. Smarmy Customs Man let us through, though. Which leads me to the revelation of the day: I don't look like a terrorist.
This is good news.
np: Decemberists-California One/Youth and Beauty Brigade
2003-07-31
Part Two: Tearing Shit Up in a Foreign Country
(continued from below)
I have huge fear of driving through customs. I've always had problems. Once when I was going to Alberta with my parents, they seached out car and then when they were done I couldn't find my jacket (it turned up in the cooler). Last time we went to Windsor, they pulled us over and searched the car for so long that we missed the rockshow we were going to. Anyway, the whole way to the bridge I complained and whined and practiced saying "We are going to Windsor to go shopping," so that I wouldn't sound nervous and suspicious (Jessica repeatedly shot down my attempted ad-libs), but this turned out to do little good, as I couldn't hear the customs agent over all of the car noise, and had to keep hollering "WHAT?" "PARDON ME?" after every single question she asked. It didn't matter, though, because she just waved us through (after I asked something like, "WHAT, THAT'S IT?"), and we immediately began saying rude things about Canada (apologies to Canadians, but we are Americans and we will giggle at your kilometers per hours and your silly ways of spelling certain things while using badly faked Canadian accents).
After driving out into the countryside by accident, we returned to Windsor where I bought a really phenomenal skirt (which I will always refer to as my 'Canada skirt') even though I had no idea how much it cost ("What, we can't just go up to the customer service desk and ask 'How much is this in American?'?"), and then went to a grocery store and bought ketchup-flavored (or 'flavoured,' if you must) potato chips. Then we went to eat dinner and saw a man in a motorized wheelchair out in the middle of a five lane street. He was moving very very slowly, and as soon as he was just barely out of the way, the cars started speeding by him again. We were waiting on a light, and the woman in the car next to us kept yelling, "Sir, you have to get out of the road!" but he didn't seem to hear her. Someone actually got out of her car and pushed him up onto the sidwalk. We spent a long time discussing whether or not this would've happened in America, as it had not occurred to either of us to actually get out of the car.
After dinner, we headed for home.
(continued next entry)
Note: my favorite things about Canada were:
(1) the benches with the little seats (that picture is actually the only one I took the whole time we were there). That is progress. I have only ever seen benches like that in airports.
(2) the little man on the pedestrian walk sign. He is a little huskier than his American counterpart and he is taking a bigger step. He somehow looks happier.
np: Decemberists-Leslie Ann Levine
2003-07-31
Part One: We Love the City
(note: most of the links are pictures that I took and they are not very good because i can't seem to hold a camera still and/or straight)
While we were traipsing across a sidewalk covered with thousands of little pieces of broken glass to stand in a park full of strange men sleeping on benches and take pictures of Michigan Central Station (more info and better pictures here), Jessica said, "If my mom knew where I was right now, she would have a heart attack." Her mom is notoriously nervous, and therefore, would probably have a problem with her daughter wandering around in a neighborhood like this. My parents, too, would probably not be thrilled to know that this is how I spend my afternoons. Oh well.
I don't know if anyone outside of Detroit has ever stood in front of an abandoned building like this. It's incredibly beautiful , but it's also kind of apocalyptic. It's far enough back from the main road so that we couldn't hear any car noise while we were standing there, and the sleeping men in the park didn't show any signs of life, so it was creepy and quiet. We might very well have been the only people in the entire city.
Later, we saw a dog the size of a cow (which we continued to talk about with amazement all the way back to Ann Arbor) and made our way to Belle Isle, where we saw a fountain and took hazy pictures of the skyline and of two countries at once.
Then we decided to go to Canada.
(continued next entry)
np: New Order-Blue Monday
2003-07-30
Yay
I am going to Detroit tomorrow. It will be the first time I have been in Detroit during the day since December.
It is extremely weird to think that there is a huge city 45 minutes away from where I live, but I never have any reason to go there before 10pm.
np: sfa-sex, war and robots
2003-07-30
Part of the problem
Our garbage didn't get taken out to the street this week. It is sitting behind the house in a huge smelly heap that is sure to make us very popular with the neighbors.
Our recycling, though, has an even sadder story to tell, as it didn't even get taken out of the house. A solid wall of flattened cereal boxes and tin cans is blocking the entrance to our laundry area. Discarding recyclables has become a sort of Jenga-esque task. Last night I rinsed out my milk carton and then took a quick survey of possible places to add it to the wall of recyclables. I made my choice and gently laid the milk carton down. Then I turned and ran. I was already out of the room and most of the way down the hall when I heard the sound of many recyclables crashing to the floor, and by that point, it was no longer my responsiblity.
np: Missy Elliott-Old School Joint
2003-07-30
Bang
"There must be some Tommy Hilfiger event horizon, beyond which it is impossible to be more derivative, more removed from the source, more devoid of soul." (Pattern Recognition, William Gibson)
np: Snow Patrol-An Olive Grove Facing the Sea
2003-07-30
"Well, what if there isn't a tomorrow? There wasn't one today."
I feel like I am living the same stupid day over and over and over. And unlike Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, I will never get it right.
np: Super Furry Animals-Sex, War and Robots
2003-07-28
Snacky
I just ate two Morningstar Farms corn dogs because they are on sale this week and I wanted an excuse to buy more.
And also because I was hungry and eating spoonfuls of relish straight out of the jar seemed a little desperate.
np: the Simpsons
2003-07-28
I am afraid to try new things
Oh my gosh, freakish melons are on sale at Meijer this week!
np: the Walkmen-I'm Never Bored
2003-07-28
Purple is the new white
So, I finally just now saw a picture of that purple polar bear. I've been reading about it forever, but for some reason I thought that it was the kind of thing that people were not allowed to photograph (why? i have no idea). I had imagined that the polar bear had just developed a sort of lavenderish tinge, but that is not the case at all.
Mother Nature needs to get colors like that in her repertoire. The whole green/brown thing is getting a little bland.
np: The Walkmen-That's the Punchline
2003-07-27
Almost
On the way home from work I saw a flyer that said, "Ladies, looking for a last minute place to live?" And I thought, 'I sure am," but upon closer inspection, the flyer was actually advertising the house that I currently live in.
np: Futurama
2003-07-27
Pie, and old people who will die
A man just yelled at me for a while at what he perceived as my incompetance, and then went downstairs and got someone else to do exactly what I had just offered to do for him. He wasn't interested in letting me help him; he was only interested in yelling at me and asking who my supervisor is.
But you know what? He was old and, therefore, will probably die before I do. Knowing that makes me feel so much better.
A fun fact: Only one job has ever made me cry, and that was my factory job. I was forced to stay four hours over (if you weren't in the union, you could be fired for not staying, but you couldn't join the union until after you had worked there for 2 months or so), and I called my mom to tell her that I wouldn't be coming home and I cried. And then I went back and sat by the pie line (where my job was to remove boxes of pie crusts from the line and put them on a skid so that they could be wrapped up and shipped away) and cried some more. I have since wondered how the factory men felt about the crying 18 year old girl in their midst, but at the time all I could think about was the fact that I had to spend 12 hours (11pm-11am) moving boxes of pie crusts from point a to point b. It was horrible.
np: work
2003-07-27
I have never worked on Sunday before. It is lonely.
My first two hours at work will be spent working in the back. There is no one back here but me. All of the offices are empty and no one has walked through since I got here half an hour ago. Aside from the occasional rumbling of the elevator (which never stops on this floor), the only sounds I can hear are the humming of the computer and the beeps as I withdraw books. Things might very well be happening out there 'in the front,' but I have no way of knowing about them. If I hadn't gone out to ask a coworker what I should be doing (I've never worked this shift before), and if I hadn't gone upstairs to borrow the stamp pad from the third floor desk, I would have to believe that I am here all by myself.
np: work
2003-07-27
"3 dimes, a hundred dollar bill, and 87 ones."
I honestly believe that the world would be a better place if Tom Hanks had stuck with making movies like "Big" and "Joe vs. the Volcano," rather than progressing into things like "Castaway."
np: Cat Power-I Don't Blame You
2003-07-26
The diaryland army
I went to a training session at the Humane Society today. It was kind of pointless, though, since really all we did was fill out forms. I was worried that all of the good jobs were going to be taken and that I was going to have to do things like wash kitten towels or scoop poop, but apparently they are low on all sorts of volunteers, so I will get to be a "cat cuddler." This job must be more in depth than it sounds, because I have to go back in a week for specialized training.
Also, there is a banner at the top of this page that reads "Lesibans (sic). . .OK you know what's next." And no, I don't know what's next because I have no idea what a 'lesiban' is. And also, there should be a new diaryland rule that prohibits the mentioning of sexual orientation in banner ads. Then being a diarylander would sort of be like being in the army.
np: Decemberists-July, July!
2003-07-25
Sleep
It never ever fails that when I go to bed early because I actually have to be at work (or anywhere) in the morning (and I was actually here at 9, I just kept myself busy until now by doing things like counting my arm hairs and trying to see the hour hand move), I wake up at 4AM and stay awake for at least 2 hours. This morning I woke up and I felt awful. My mouth was really dry and my head hurt and my stomach hurt and I was really hot and my eyes hurt when they were open, but I couldn't sleep when they were closed even though I was so so so so so so so so tired. So tired.
I tend to worry about things 50 times more vividly at 4 in the morning than during real times of the day, so I tried hard not to focus on the homeless and jobless future that awaits me, and instead I thought about how very bad I felt and how I have never called in sick to work ever in my life, and that the last time I threw up was last summer when I drank almost a whole bottle of gin by myself*, and that the last time I was even slightly ill was in December when I had a cold and I went to work and sneezed all over library patrons because I figured one of them had given it to me and I was just going to put it back out there.
I finally took some Meijer brand aspirin-free pain reliever and found my gel eye mask thing and drank some of the water that was in my water bottle, even though the night before I had rejected it since it had weird little things floating in it. And then sometime around 6:30 I went to sleep, only to have my alarm wake me up an hour later. I was having a dream where it was 8:45am and I was leaving a highrise apartment building that I lived in with my maternal grandparents and two unidentified boys to go to work after having breakfast on the balcony.
I laid in bed, which has been at an odd slant ever since I moved it to look for my computer, and thought about how I could just skip showering (reasoning that I hadn't showered in my dream, and I seemed like a pretty successful person in it since I was living in such a nice place), but then I decided that my hair had looked pretty terrible the day before (by the looks of things, I might've completely forgotten to rinse out the conditioner), so I pulled myself out of bed at about 7:55 and did actually manage to be at work on time (not that it would've mattered if I wasn't, since not a single person unaffiliated with the library was on this floor until after 10).
And now, since I barely work at all, it is almost time for me to go home. Will I sleep, watch trashy daytime tv, or do something constructive? Only time will tell.
*oh right, I thought other people were involved in the consumption of the gin, so as I watched it disappear from the bottle I thought, "Oh, but we're ALL drinking it," but the joke was on me because most of us were drinking some other clear liquid. Looking back, I am glad I was as drunk as I was, since last summer's French housemate was watching the world cup and I probably would've been really bored otherwise. Now I understand why alcohol is so available at sporting events; it almost makes them interesting.
Also, thanks to the-magus for pointing out my flaws (ie, the initial absence of the preceding footnote).
np: work
2003-07-24
Pardon me?
If you can tell me what a 'minger' is, I will be your best friend for 36 hours.
(No points will be received for answering "someone or something that mings.")
[slightly later: I have found a British website entitled "Babe or Minger," which is pretty much just "Hot or Not" with an accent, so the mystery is solved (and I don't even have to be friends with anyone weird for 36 hours).]
np: SFA-Father Father #1
2003-07-24
New pants and kittens
Today, rather than washing all of my clothes that were dampened by the unexpected drippage from my ceiling, I went to the store and bought new clothes. Because new clothes are better than a heap of damp ones. One of my purchases was a pair of canvas pants that are probably the finest pants I have owned since my days as a factory worker (it was a horrible job, but the pants were just phenomenal).
Then I went to the Humane Society and met a 3 month old kitten named Jack who loved me. Everytime I would stop petting him to speak to* the Adventure Triplets (who were really just three tabby kittens who liked to lick things and play with a pink sparkly mouse), he would yowl and stick his little arm out through the bars of the cage. So I would stand back up and stick as many fingers as possible through the bars and he would bite them and I asked him if he was named after Jack White (he was black, but I didn't want him to be named after Jack Black), but all he did was mew and I said, "Oh Jack, I would so love to take you home, but if it was discovered that you were living in my room we would be kicked out of the house and we would have to live on the sidewalk in a shelter made out of cd cases." And then we said our goodbyes and I walked down the dog corridor, where I was both licked and barked at, and went home**.
Actually, all of the animals there really liked me. I mean, I know they really like everyone because they live in those little cages and need more attention than they get, but it was just so gratifying. It has solidified my plan to volunteer there, as it is the only place I can be a superstar.
*Please note that I don't resort to sickening baby talk when talking to animals. I figure that since they can't understand me anyway, I might as well not sound like a moron and so I talk to them seriously about whatever is on my mind. I realize that I am really just talking to myself, but somehow people think you are less crazy if there is another live being with you.
**that is a lie, I actually went to a meeting at work, but it was so boring that it is hardly worth mentioning. I did discover, though, that one of my coworkers is allergic to cheese, which means that next time we are probably going to get a cheeseless pizza for the meeting, which is disappointing since pizza is the only thing that makes those meetings bearable.
np: Super Furry Animals-Cityscape Skybaby
2003-07-24
Let's all be happy
So, I woke up to find dirty water dripping into my room. How about you?
What's hilarious is that this is this is the second time this has happened. I so love living here. I am so happy that this occurred on a day when I actually had other plans. I mean, besides redoing all of my laundry and stuff. I am joyous to be covered in filthy water.
np: Super Furry Animals-Hello Sunshine
2003-07-24
Man, is there anything these people can't do?
Sometimes, after watching a lot of tv, I start to wonder if there was any justice in the world before the FOX2 Problem Solvers.
np: M*A*S*H
2003-07-23
Nyah
For those of you that have seen my grammar and do not believe that I could have graduated from high school, let alone college, I throw this poorly-done scan of my diploma into your smug little faces:
np: Taxi Driver
2003-07-23
Unorganized
[this was written earlier while I was at work, but as the new setup means having a second person at the periodicals desk all the time, my worktime diarylanding has been severely cut down.]
I went to look at a house today. I ended up getting there really early, because I freak out and give myself 15 minutes to walk 2 blocks. So I was standing outside in the sunshine, whistling "Bleed Forever" (certainly the sweeetest song ever written about nuclear fallout), trying to look as uncreepy as possible. The whistling was supposed to look nonchalant, but Ithink it ended up just making me look like I had something to hide.
Anyway, I waited and waited until I was going to be late for work and then I left, thinking "Well, great, I just love that people don't have to actually have to do anything that they say they're going to." When I got to work, I looked up the housing page again and discovered that I had gone to the wrong house. There were two houses on the same block that I wanted look at, and I wrote down all the information about the second house next to the first address (since they gave me a long distance number to call but neglected to give me an area code, I decided to just call them back tomorrow, and so there was nothing written down next to the first address).
This is what makes this so maddening: I was actually attempting to be organized. I made a little chart so that I would make sure that all of my telephone notes would be associated with the proper house (last time I took notes on the back of a very small receipt, and was completely confused by the time the I had called all 3 places). And now I can't call back and get another appointment because who would want to rent to someone so disorganized that they can't even meet at the right place?
Oh, but schemes are in progress. Dastardly ones. I WILL see this house.
np: Super Furry Animals-Golden Retriever
2003-08-23
I should spend less time being upset by things like this and more time focusing on things that actually matter
I just watched Montel (because that is what happens when you turn on the tv and are too lazy to change the channel), and he had all of these people with inventions and some people from the Home Shopping Network were judging them. Of course, the HSN women chose the stupidest things ever as the winners (I don't know what they won, exactly), like these little fingernail cover things so that you can do things while you are waiting for your nail polish to dry (because it takes, what, 10 minutes or so or nail polish to dry?) and this thing to hide your toilet plunger in, because nothing fills anyone with more shame than when guests enter their bathroom and see a plunger (oddly, the plunger hider thing was the same shape as a plunger, so it wasn't exactly like people were going to think, "Gee, I bet they keep those little decorative soaps in that thing!").
I am honestly upset about this and I really wish that wasn't the case. Oh well. At least the man with the dog treadmill didn't win.
np: Super Furry Animals-Venus and Serena
2003-07-23
Um
I was just now trying to figure out a way to sleep with my laptop in my bed, because it is warm and I am freezing. Then I figured that maybe turning off the fan and shutting the windows would be a more intelligent way to remedy this situation.
np: Super Furry Animals-Hello Sunshine
2003-07-23
This description thing is bringing me down
I don't want anyone to think that I'm going all soft and gurly, but earlier today I might have cried real tears while listening to Phantom Power. Maybe.
Also, tonight on the Discovery Channel a man said, "Juveniles often believe that homicide is the answer to their problems." And I thought, "Oh Mr. Discovery Channel Narrator, don't we all?"
[You will notice that I am not complaining about the kitchen this week. And, no, the kitchen was not any cleaner than usual. The effect that one little cd can have on my life is amazing (and somewhat unsettling)].
np: Super Furry Animals-Sex, War and Robots
2003-07-21
Kicking at my door
So let's say that say that all day you have been receiving emails (7 of them)/talking on the phone (for about an hour) to someone you see all the time and who needed to make some very legitimate complaints about things. But then you get back from standing in the hot cramped third floor hallway where it is impossible to have a personal conversation to find that you have received an email from someone who you haven't seen in such a long long time, and who just wrote to you because they are happy, not because they wanted to vent all of their troubles. And even though you don't usually think about it, the contact makes you realize how very much you miss them.
np: nothing
2003-07-21
Summer 2003, I will not miss you like I missed Summer 2002
Only three things are keeping this summer from totally sucking:
1. Phantom Power, the new Super Furry Animals album, comes out tomorrow. The anticipation has been killing me.
2. The weather has been nice.
3. Speedway is selling 44oz drinks for 69 cents, which is a lot of pop/soda for a wee small amount of money.
Things that are making this summer suck:
1. Hardly any rock shows to be seen.
2. The movies. Have you seen these things? LXG (which was funny enough in the long form is even more hilarious when abbreviated like that. Also - what was so extraordinary about Dorian Gray? He was an egotistical little man who wanted to stay beautiful forever. He was a BAD PERSON. I feel like these people must not have read the book. And finally, I am seemingly the only person on the planet who doesn't find Sean Connery or his accent sexy), T3 (although, to be fair, I did find out that I do a mean Ah-nuld impersonation on that "We need a new vehicle" line from the tv spots), X2 (why?), Legally Blonde 2 (the first one was cute, but another one? no. seriously. get new ideas. (although, again, to be fair, I will probably go see it when it gets to the cheap theater because of the Bob Newhart factor)), the Matrix Reloaded (again, more sequels - and although I haven't actually seen any of his other movies, I stand by my statement that Keanu Reeves hasn't done any important work since his Bill and Ted days), Charlie's Angels 2 (if you go to this school, the first thing everyone says to you about Lucy Liu is "Did you know that she went to U of M?" And my response is something like, "OHMYGOSH, I feel such a deep connection with here now that I know she graduated from the same school as me and TEN MILLION other people!").
--->(a sublist)OK, so two things have sort of made movies bearable: Even though the movies he is in are terrible, Luke Wilson is everywhere. It is truly the summer of him and his magnificent jawline; and 28 Days Later - although this was not really a zombie movie (and everyone insists on describing it as such), it still had zombies in it. And I love zombies.
3. I could live in Detroit this fall and have rooms for about the same price that I will probably end up having to pay for a single room for here. For some reason, though, I decided not to move. And now I can't remember what that reason was.
4. I really really dislike where I live right now, but unless I get pregnant (which would probably end up being more trouble than it was worth), I can't get out of my ICC contract.
5. My old computer was lost/stolen.
6. I abruptly end diaryland entries rather than finishing them gracefully. (I forgot the point of this list after I wrote about the movies. I hadn't meant to go into so much detail about them.)
np: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists-Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone
2003-07-21
Tired
My parents live in the middle of nowhere, and when I lived with them I sometimes used to sleep in the yard during the summer. I'd lay in the grass and try to pick out constellations and listen to the crickets. Stewart the cat would bite my ankles and my arms and my face, but eventually he would grow weary of the taste of human flesh and curl up by my side to sleep.
And the thing about being alone (or with a sleeping cat) outside at night is that you can feel the entire size of the universe, you can tell that it's huge and magnificent and that you and the sleeping cat are a part of everything that is happening everywhere at that particular moment. But at the same time, you feel such an overwhelming loneliness, out there with the stars and the cat and the crickets. It's hard to shake the feeling that you're the last human being on earth.
I have spent the night trying to put together a cd that could conjure up this feeling without the actual sleeping outside part since, even if I thought sleeping outside here was a good idea, it wouldn't work in the middle of a town anyway. It has turned out to be kind of a depressing night.
np: Low-Lord Can You Hear Me
2003-07-20
This is not what I'd expect from a dollar store pen
On the next episode of "When Ink Pens Explode:"
Watch with horror as Kim opens her favorite bag/purse to discover sticky black ink covering all of its contents and staining the lovely lavender interior! See Kim freaking out and pouring water all over the bag and everything near it! Watch as she realizes that the stains are only on the inside and, therefore, not that important!
np: whose line is it anyway?
2003-07-19
I am not now, nor have I ever been a poet
I was reading random diaries and was amazed at the amount of truly depressing and terrible poetry that is being written by the kids out there. But then I remembered that I was not immune to that poetry bug (although I forcibly infected by schooleteachers). When I was in 8th grade, I wrote a poem called "Edgar Allan Poe Goes to Disney World." It started like this:
I journeyed far, to a place 'twas sunny
Aware that I'd spend too much money
But still I went, as I have gone before
Sadly, I can't remember the rest. I do remember, though, that it pretty much got steadily worse, and it didn't start out good to begin with. The end result may even have earned that prized comment of "Gutwrenching"* from Bloody Mary the English teacher.
*she actually did write this term on one of my friend's paper that ended with the line "Delaware produces more polyester than any other state in the USA." And, uh, the essay had nothing to do with Delaware or polyester.
np: David Bowie-Golden Years
2003-07-18
One place that I didn't think I would be going this year
At the end of September, I may be road tripping to Kentucky to see my most favorite band in the whole world (since they have sadly decided to not tour anywere near where I actually live). It would be more fun to go somewhere like San Francisco, Los Angeles or New York, but those places would also be more expensive and farther away. Also, if we went somewhere glamorous, we would look all bumpkinish. However, in Kentucky, although last night's statement of "We'll be THE COOLEST people in Louisville!!!" is somewhat questionable, at least we will have mysterious and exotic Michigan accents (just like we did last year in Cleveland).
Anyway, anyone with any information on Louisville should send it my way. I am going to go clean, because tonight, the anti-party is at my house.
np: the simpsons
2003-07-17
Experimentation
When I was younger, my parents and I went to a museum on Mackinac Island. The museum had a room full of those waxen people that museums are so fond of acting out various historial occurences that had happened there.
One of the displays was about a doctor who had wanted to find out if food would be broken down in the stomach even if it was not chewed up before it got there. The display featured an experimentee reclining on a couch. The doctor had cut a hole in his stomach and was sitting next to him, dangling an unidentified brown lump (presumably food) on a string above the hole in the experimentee's stomach.
I don't remember the results of the experiment. I also don't know why I have been thinking about this for the past 4 days.
np: REM-Man on the Moon
2003-07-16
This is not the way
I left my ATM card in the machine Monday night when I was rushing off to the $2 theater to see Chicago*. So I went to the bank it is attached to today and asked them about it, because last time this happened (yes, this has happened to me before. shut up.), my dad went in the next day (I left to go back to school) and they gave him a new one. But today the woman at the bank told me that they couldn't get me a new one there because it wasn't a full service branch and directed me to another nearby branch. This is fine, except everytime I have tried to do anything more than use the ATM at this other branch, they have told me that it is not a full service branch and have directed me elsewhere.
Anyway, the point is that I had $6 cash to use for my various day to day purchases (think: candy or ice cream novelties) until I can get a new card. This afternoon that seemed fine, while I was at work I grew more and more aware of the loud noises emanating from my stomach, and knowing that all I could prepare at my house was rice with ketchup, I stopped on the way home and bought a sandwich and a pickle. Now I only have $1 left for my ATMcardless days.
Oh, and a credit card.
*the problem with musicals is all the damn singing. i mean, it just gets tiresome after a while. and it's frustrating, because you can tell when they're just about to launch into another song and you think "NO, NO, DON'T DO IT!" But, uh, yeah, I liked it. John C. Reilly 4 eva.
np: Built to Spill-I Try
2003-07-16
Because I have food to spare
And now, right on schedule, it's my weekly cleaning the kitchen rant:
I opened up the garbage drawer so I could extract the bags of filth and transport them to the outside. Until this point, I had been relatively happy about the state of the kitchen: all of the dishes fit in the dishwasher and the amount of food dried onto the counter was much lower than usual. Yes, until this point, the only thing that had annoyed me was the fact that someone was baking brownies, causing the temperature of the kitchen to be about 100 degrees hotter than normal. However, when I opened the drawer, what should I see atop the mountain of putridity but a full box of rapidly defrosting black bean burgers which clearly had been marked "Kim."
Maybe throwing away random food would make me feel better. I felt a slight twinge of justice that time I ate the cheese that didn't belong to me.
Anyway, though, on the bright side of things, I would like to say thank you to my housemate for reminding me that even though it will be more expensive to live on my own, it will totally be worth it.
np: Edith Frost-When the Bees are in the Hive
2003-07-15
Art fair=no groceries for me
I need to go get groceries so I can stop justifying all of this eating out/ordering in I have been doing, but the art fair starts tomorrow and I don't want to move my car because I won't be able to park it reasonably near my house until Sunday night. I guess I will take the bus, but it is raining and I don't really want to walk all the way to the bus stop. So, I guess it will be another vegetable-less couple of days.
Also, I probably complained about this last year too, but I hate the art fair. Thank you for clogging up the entire downtown area to sell expensive, useless, folky trinkets, most of which can't legitimately be called art*. I hope it rains all weekend.
*Someone else already pointed out that most of what is found at the art fair could more accurately be described as crafts and, although I am not entirely clear as to what the definition of 'art' is, I am pretty sure that art is something that there is only one of (did that make sense?). So please, everyone, get in your RVs and go home.
np: M*A*S*H: "Your picture's in my wallet and I'm sitting on it. And if that isn't love I don't know what is." oh, that Frank Burns.
2003-07-15
Siren
Let's be honest: we all knew that I couldn't resist the lure of a singing John C. Reilly forever, right?
np: the fan
2003-07-14
At least it hurts a lot less than it did earlier today
My ankle (which was involved in last night's nasty spill) is all swelled up. All day I have been looking at it and telling myself that it is just fine, but when your ankle looks like someone stuck a plum underneath your skin, sooner or later you have to face the truth.
np: work
2003-07-14
Fire escape
One of the windows to my room is on the fire escape. Sometimes people stand out on the little fire escape landing to smoke.
There is a fan in the window that is on the fire escape. It pulls cigarette smoke right into my room.
And - does it make any sense that our fire escape is made out of wood?
np: Gorky's Zygotic Mynci-The Girl I've Always Known
2003-07-14
Priorities
I just walked 8 blocks home from a friend's house carrying a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. About halfway between there and here, I took a nasty spill which initially made me fear that I had sprained my ankle, but ultimately served only to make my knee bleed and bleed.
Please bear in mind that as my head found itself rapidly approaching the concrete, all of my thoughts were of my ice cream.
np: the Polyphonic Spree-Soldier Girl
2003-07-13
I love pirates but have absolutely no desire to see this movie
I don't think that one person that went to see Pirates of the Caribbean this weekend and then wrote about it in their diaryland has actually spelled 'Caribbean' correctly. Finding someone who has has become my chosen waiting-for-the-Simpsons-to-start pastime.
np: Bach-Chaconne in D (performed by Jorge Bolet) - a man at the library the other day was looking for the sheet music of this song and he told me i should get a recording of it because it was the most beautiful song in the world. and i do everything that random library patrons tell me to do. yes.
2003-07-13
A long story in a place where I could've just said, "Today I went to the park"
I went to hand in my application to Amer's only to be informed that they are no longer accepting them, but I might be called if they are absolutely desperate. I can't say that this really bothered me, but the girl who relayed this information to me looked so truly apologetic that I almost sobbed, "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T WORK AT THIS COFFEE SHOP? I AM GOING TO GO KILL MYSELF NOW." But, honestly, it didn't really bother me that much, so I went ahead with my real Sunday plan of laying in the grass and reading Daphne du Maurier's "Dont' Look Now"* whilst sipping a decent iced coffee drink (ie, one that wasn't made by me out of instant Folgers and souring milk).
But: I did things wrong and ended up getting my coffee before I went to the library and got the book. And although I have seen people eating and drinking all sorts of things in the library (and although I always ate and drank things in various university libraries), I felt that entering the library with my iced vanilla latte would be frowned upon**, so I went for a long and pointless walk while I drank it (and was amazed at the kind of music that people will allow to blast out of their car windows).
Then I got the book and was faced with my next problem, which was mercifully not self-imposed: where does a person go to lay in the grass and read when that person's entire yard consists of a tiny patch of dead grass between the sidewalk and the street? There was the diag (too busy), there was the arb (also probably busy, and too far away), and then I remembered that there is a park sort of near my house. I decided to go there, since it meant that I could stop at home and make some lemonade to drink.
The park turned out to be kind of a disappointment, as the grass was not as plush and soft as I imagined that grass in a park would be. It was nice, though, to lay in the shade and read and drink lemonade. The only other people there were playing basketball on the opposite side of the park, and there was an almost total absence of children playing on the equipment, so it was quiet and relaxing. . . . . .
. . . . . until the man with the lawnmower showed up. At first I thought maybe he was just driving it around because it was easier than walking (because, honestly, who mows a park on Sunday afternoon?), but eventually it became obvious that he was there to cut the grass. Since I was done with the story and I was tired of bugs crawling all over me, I decided to go home. I looked at the sun and estimated that it was about 4:30, only to arrive home to discover that it was almost 7.
So, I spent the whole day doing nothing, but Sunday afternoons are supposed to be all parks and lemonade, right? Of course.
*I watched the movie last night, which I really enjoyed, but I thought the story might explain a few things.
**And, although it is ridiculouse, I could just see myself being fired for this. It just seems like something that would happen right now.
np: King of the Hill
2003-07-13
I never thought I would return to food service
I have been filling out an application for a job at a deli. I don't really want to work there, but I need to have a second paycheck in my life if I want to live somewhere with walls and ceilings. And do you know what? I hate it when job applications aren't just straightforward affairs of address, education, and past jobs. The first question on this one is "What is your impression of Amer's Deli?" and my first reaction was something like "You have more than one kind of sandwich with saurkraut or coleslaw on it! I LOVE YOU!" but instead I wrote something about providing good food and good service.
Oh well. As soon as I can think of a time when I have received good customer service, I am all set.
PS-the plagiarism controversy is over. I must say that I am a little disappointed that more scandal was not involved. I was prepared to fight to the death. Oh yes I was.
np: Elbow-Independent Woman
2003-07-12
They may be hippies, but at least they are pro-clothing
From: house president
Date: Thursday, July 10, 2003 4:16 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: BEWARE
Hi everybody.
The office e-mailed me this, and I thought I would notify all of you. If this man comes to the house looking for a tour, tell him the house is full.
If he causes further problems, track me down.
-----------------
Dear Board and Presidents,
Unfortunately every once in a while we get someone who is interested in the coops who we know right away won't be a good match.
There is a man named Levi [last name] who has been contacting NASCO as well as the ICC for houses that will allow him to live his daily life in the nude. He is waiting to decide where to go to school based on where he can be naked.
Please be aware that this man has already begun harrassing several of our houses as well as staff and ICC officers. I would caution all houses strongly on letting this man into our homes.
Just so you all are prepared, his email address is: [removed]
Thanks for listening.
Rebecca
np: The Marvelettes-Danger Heartbreak Dead Ahead
2003-07-12
I am trying hard not to feel violated
So, a thorough inspection of my room did not produce my old laptop. It seemed very likely that its disappearance was due to me misplacing it (I am not a careful person), because of the many other things that are still here. But I have looked everywhere. I have laid on my floor and peered under my desk, dresser, and bed with a flashlight. I have pulled my bed as far out from the wall as possible (and as a result, it now slopes down on one end). I have looked in my closet (which is very small and narrow, so it didn't take long). I looked in the box of clothes that I meant to send home with my parents many months ago. And so, unless I loaned it to someone (but kept one of the cords) and forgot about it (which, unfortunately, is possible), it is gone.
My search was not entirely useless, though, as I recovered a very tasty chocolate bar [I just now remembered once last year when Ariella nearly threw out Matt's laptop with the recycling. It was one of those small white apple ones and it was in the middle of a stack of newspapers. Mine, though, was big and black and really really heavy, so I probably would've noticed if it was stuck in a newspaper.] and a cd with Sloan's cover of Paul McCartney's "Waterfalls" on it.
I have been trying to tell myself that this is fine, because it means that I don't have to figure out how to get rid of it. But someone out there has all of the crappy papers that I wrote during college, and that is an unsettling thought.
np: Elvis Costello-Miracle Man
2003-07-11
Thievery
Ohmygod, I have been plagiarized by a Livejournalist! Twice! Here and here!
I know I should be upset by this, but I am too busy being overcome by the hilarity of the situation. Never in my life did I ever think that someone would steal from my Diaryland diary.
np: Grandaddy-El Caminos in the West
2003-07-11
No, gushy and excited is a good thing
Dear landpeople (that'd be landlords and ladies, not land-dwelling) of America:
Announcing something like, "I need the keys to John's room. The cops came and took him away today," to your partner while she is showing rooms to a potential renter might make that potential renter uneasy about renting from you.
Actually, they were very nice. Usually after I look at apartments I feel kind of sick to my stomach, but now I feel all gushy and excited about moving. And one of the rooms I looked at was the biggest room I had ever seen in my life. It was bigger than the living room at my parents' house. I would feel like the heroine of a Victorian novel*, in a room like that, although that probably will not happen since it was the most expensive one.
Instead, I think I will be renting the one with the skylight. It also has a loft, but not a loft in the collegy "the lumberyard was going to throw this wood out so we brought it back and decided hammer together a wobbly deathtrap to place our mattress on" way. No. This loft was more like a second story.
The only thing that makes renting from these people unappealing is the fact that the landlady and her landlord husband used to be (drumroll) co-opers. I will never be free.
*and, I actually did finish all 800 pages of The Crimson Petal and the White, but I am not sure if I did this because I enjoyed it or because I wanted to prove that I could.
np: Grandaddy-Now It's On
2003-07-11
The complete idiot's guide to do-it-yourself foot repair
And here I was under the impression that complete idiots shouldn't write children's books.
In other news, I have about 12 bandaids on my feet, since my only pair of sandals suddenly decided to go all mass-murderer on me.
np: work
2003-07-11
Another catless year
Cats are probably happier when they aren't confined to very small and probably very hot apartments, right?
Because I can't afford an apartment that will let me have a cat. Or, actually, I don't want to live in the one apartment I can afford that will let me have a cat.
Tours of rentable rooms are this afternoon after work. I really wanted to live alone, but I suppose it would be good for me to have to see people once in a while. And these people wouldn't be co-opers, so they might be ok.
Still no word on my computer, but I plan on cleaning tonight (since I threw everything all over the place yesterday when I was looking) and moving all the things that are movable and looking underneath them. I mean, it's Friday night; what else would I be doing besides cleaning?
np: Radiohead-2+2=5
2003-07-10
Things are back to normal
I wish that the whole having a place to live thing wasn't directly related to going to look at apartments and rooms and things. After discussing a $730/month efficiency with a woman on the phone today, asking questions in a calm voice about utilities and the like (while thinking SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS???? FOR ONE ROOM IN A CRAPPY PART OF TOWN???? AND I CAN'T EVEN EVEN HAVE A CAT????), I spent the afternoon walking dejectedly around town. And let me tell you something: if you are feeling low, seeing people that are your age enjoying martinis with their late lunches will NOT do anything to make you feel like less of a failure.
So when I got home, I drowned my sorrows in diet cherry pepsi and decided that I would finally transfer all the files from my old laptop onto my new one, only to find that my old laptop is gone.
I've looked everywhere (my room isn't big). I lock my door when I'm gone. I lock my windows when I'm gone (since there is a fire escape leading up to one of them). Nothing else is missing (except my library card, but I think that that is probably an unrelated incident).
I am hoping that I have just misplaced it (although I don't really have enough room to misplace things in), because the idea that someone else has been in my room really bothers me, maybe even more than losing the computer. I'm going to look at some apartments tomorrow morning, one of which the woman said was available immediately. And, if it isn't awful and/or too expensive, I might take it. Because if things are getting stolen out of my room, I don't want to live here anymore.
np: Grandaddy-O.K. With My Decay
2003-07-09
Today
Any day in July when the humidity isn't drowning you is a good day.
If it is one of those days you see some people walking a bunny on a leash, it is a terrific day.
I am off to drink beer on a porch somewhere. It is a superterrific day!
np: Mogwai-Waltz for Aidan
2003-07-09
Oxymoron
Even though I have not yet secured a place to live after August, each week, as I wash hundreds of dishes that I did not use, as I wash ice cream and bread crumbs off of the counter (even though I did not partake in the ice cream or the bread), and as I drag the bags of kitchen trash (which always have some sort of unappealing goo smeared over the outside of them) out to the trash cans that are still by the street at 1am because it would be too damn hard to drag them back behind the house*, I remind myself that my days in cooperative housing will soon be over.
*No, it's not that hard for me to take the trash out to the street either, but my problem is this: the garbage person gets two hours of work credit to drag the cans out to the street on Monday night and return them to behind the house on Tuesday. I get two hours of credit to wash everyone's dishes (although, hypothetically, everyone should be doing their own dishes), clean the stove, wash the cupboards and table, take out the trash, sweep and mop.
np: the Decemberists-Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect (ok, I realize that I am way behind everyone else on this, but this is so so so so so good ----> download)
2003-07-08
It's the only way to live
The cars parked in the driveway of the house next door always crack me up. There is a Jaguar, a BMW, and a 12 year old Honda civic hatchback (which I can identify as such because, apart from the color, it is exactly the same as my car).
np: Belle & Sebastian-Women's Realm
2003-07-08
I have big plans for myself
I realized today that I will someday be an old woman living all alone in a house full of records and cats. Children will stand on the sidwalk and whisper, daring each other to knock on my front door.
And then I will burst from the house clutching a handful of cds, and I will chase those kids down the street, all the while yelling about how bands from my day were much better than all of their fancy new robot bands.
I'm not sure why, but I have a feeling that robots are going to be a big problem for me.
np: Clinic-Porno
2003-07-08
The best Monday night ever?
I had to hurry home from work so that we could go see the New Pornographers in Detroit. While I was cutting through a parking lot, I saw two of the guys that I live with, and although I did acknowledge them (with a "hey," or something), I doubt that it did much to counteract my "girl who lives upstairs and doesn't really talk to anyone else in the house" image. Oh well.
Then we got to the show just in time; the crowd yelled out song titles (and the drummer ridiculed this show's designated shouter of "FREEBIRD!!!!"), Neko Case talked about baby ducks, and I felt all happy and warm (but not in the 'if i stand very still i can feel sweat dripping down my back' kind of way. just in the 'aaaah' way. and that 'aaaah' signifies contentedness, not a scream of terror. that would be 'aaaah!!!!!')
np: Ted Leo/RX-Hearts of Oak
2003-07-07
Yes!Michigan
We saw Karisa and Ryan and their mom when my dad and I went out for breakfast this morning. I had no idea what I should say to either of them, so I just played with my pancakes. Later, I stole sugar packets and delivered them to the children at the day-care center my mom works at.
Then I sped across mid-Michigan so that I could be back in time to go to work. I kept seeing license plates from all over the country, and I wondered if Michigan really has a tourist industry. When I was little, we used to go on vacations and see things like mountains and cactuses* and the ocean. I imagine that vacations to Michigan (if they occur at all), take place after one of the following sentences:
"Hey kids, you know what we haven't seen for a while? Trees!"
"If you don't stop picking on your sister, I'm going to cancel our trip to Disney World and we're going to spend two weeks in Michigan instead!"
"Michigan gave us Michael Moore, Jack Kevorkian AND Madonna? I'm sold!"
And then I thought up tourist slogans:
"Michigan: just like Wisconsin, except mitten-shaped and without the cheese."
"We have TWO peninsulas! Take that, Florida!"
"Michigan's upper peninsula: visit Canada without ever leaving the USA!"
But, then again, I've lived here all my life and didn't get out at the first available opportunity, so you know that it can't be as bad as all that.
*wrong plural, I know, but this sounds better and I like to think that I am doing my part in helping to make English a little more regular (I am a language laxative)
np: work
2003-07-07
A weekend list, because I am not good at tying things together
1. We are absent-minded: There was no electricity at my grandparents' house for the first 7 hours or so that we were there. Knowing this, however, did not stop us from putting things in the microwave and being totally unable to understand why none of the buttons were working.
2. My grandparents have a dog named Sadie, who is the least ferocious German shepherd in the history of dogs. The neighbors had fireworks (which my mom, grandpa and I stood outside and watched since we didn't have any of our own), and after the very first one, Sadie ran inside the house and down the stairs (she usually has to be coaxed into the basement with treats), where she spent the night sleeping under my bed in the dark room (which is called the dark room because it is very very dark).
3. I am always overwhelmed by guilt after extended family gatherings, and I'd almost think that I should just stop going to them, but I like them. My family, I mean. And they like me, but there are things they don't know about me, and judging by their views on some things (let's just take alcohol, for an example), I am a bad person.
4. I have come awfully close to hitting pet-type animals in my car lately. Hitting non-pet-type animals is bad enough: once I hit a raccoon on my way to work and had to drive past it's decaying body every day for the rest of the summer; another time I hit a possum, but he had the last laugh when all the antifreeze drained out of my car on the way home.
5. Why do people/animals become candidates for sainthood as soon as they are injured/dead. My friend's dog just got hit by a car (which is awful), but now all of a sudden she talks about him like he is a perfect little dog, even though last week her mom wanted to get rid of him because he chews on everything and is impossible to control. Stewart, my now-deceased cat, used to bite me with no provocation whatsoever (one time he was asleep, woke up, walked across the room, bit me, and went back to sleep), but I liked him anyway. Why is it so awful to admit that our loved ones have faults?
6. The cows who live behind my parents' house have gotten snooty and will no longer associate with me.
7. I got bored and dressed up like a cowboy and took pictures of myself:
I got distracted by something off to one side, though.
np: my ear hurts
2003-07-04
You have got to be kidding me
My mom just informed me that we are going to leave for my grandma's house at 8:30 tomorrow morning.
That woman sure knows how to ruin a good holiday/Twilight Zone marathon.
np: the stupid noisy fan
2003-07-03
Fun at the dentist
I went to the dentist today, and let me tell you something: if you've never talked about linguistics with your dental hygienist, you should definitely give it a try next time. She'd be scraping away at my teeth and she'd say, "So, are you still going to school?" Then she'd stop scraping just long enough for me to say, "No, I just graduated." Then she'd rinse out my mouth and say,"What did you study? I think your mom told me once?" And she'd stop and I'd say, "Linguistics." And then she'd polish my teeth for a little while and yell, "What do you want to do with that?" over the deafening hum of the tooth polisher thing. She would shut it off so I could answer, "I want to work in language preservation*," and on and on the conversation went.
Relatedly, I think I'm just going to start telling people that I was a bio major and that I'm going to go to med school.
*I started saying this right around the time I graduated just so I would actually have something to say to that inevitable and terrifying question of "Well, what are you going to do now?". I mean, I think language preservation is important, but I'm not sure that that's actually what I want to do.
np: the fan
2003-07-03
Out of touch
I am at my parents' house for the holiday weekend, where it smells like cows and where my parents are watching Jay Leno in the next room. My dad just asked my mom is Reese Witherspoon is a woman.
My parents totally rule.
np: quiet
2003-07-02
I don't think I ever had a teddy bear, but I had a stuffed walrus named "Wally"
This teddy bear, who lives by the garbage cans behind my house, may be the saddest teddy bear in the whole world:
But then again, there might be sadder teddy bears. I am not really equipped to write about this subject, as I am not acquainted with all of the world's teddy bears.
a note: when I went outside to take this picture, I went out down the fire escape (since it is close to both my room and the garbage cans - a prime location!), and accidentally let the door lock behind me. I was worried about this until I got to the ground and tried the basement door and found it unlocked. Also, last night, after making hot chocolate, Jessica shut the front door all the way and I was afraid that I would be locked out forever. Not wanting to ring the bell (because it was 3am and some people actually have jobs and stuff), I climbed up the fire escape thinking that I could just take the screen out of my window and get in. This was unneccessary because the door at the top of the fire escape was unlocked. We are all about safety.
np: Ted Leo/RX-The Anointed One
2003-07-02
Hot chocolate on the porch
I drank hot chocolate on the porch and saw a skunk and a moth and a fire truck. The hot chocolate was bad. I wanted beer (it would help me sleep, which I think is probably a bad reason to drink, but I'd like to get back on the same schedule as the rest of the diurnal world), but all I have* is baking cocoa, milk and access to house sugar (which is mostly solidified into a gigantic sugarcube and contains bits of pasta), so hot chocolate it was.
Also, while making the hot chocolate, I was involved in an exchange which I think says a lot about life in a co-op:
other: Why is there bread all over the floor? There are like, five slices of it.
me: [shrug]
*except for the 10 million cans of diet pepsi I bought last week. There was an excessively good sale and I got carried away. A lot of it is still in my car because I don't have the storage space unless I carry it all the way up to the attic.
np: WDET
2003-07-01
More of the same
Hello July!
Every time the month changes I think things will be different.
Hah.
np: Elf Power-Why Can't I Touch It
Navigation
Credits