2003-05-31

A revelation

And suddenly it occurs to me: maybe not usually working on Saturdays is a very good thing.

5:05 p.m.

2003-05-30

I have a thing for celts

Proving, beyond a doubt, that I have NO LIFE WHATSOEVER, I have spent most of the evening listening to an obviously intoxicated Gruff Rhys (of Super Furry Animals) interviewing Barry Burns (of Mogwai) from here. It is hilarious, but since no one will actually listen to it, I have taken the time to transcribe a portion of it that begins at 14:17.

*note* here is a key to my (very rough) transcription: sentences preceded by '&' occured simultaneously. commas mean a short break, slashes are longer breaks, [] is the longest silence (which still isn't long, but it makes a difference)



GR: apparently there's a stones song called 'walking the dog'
BB: alright, i�ll ignore that though cos they don�t count/they�re not good/(laughs)/they�re, they�re not dead yet and they�re also/uh/they�ve hired all their buses for their stupid tour
GR: scum
BB: aye, and we can�t get a bus now, so we'll
GR: &i bet they do
BB: &we'll be on a van
GR: i bet they do loads of crap afterwards as well
BB: (laughs)probably/and we don't have a bus now because they took them all/[]/i wish they would die
(both laugh)
GR: yeah, if you're listening/out/if you're listening/stones/if you're in the wales vicinity today you're in deep trouble/you won't be rolling for long
BB: no, no/(laughs)/(under breath)oh geez
GR: and the same goes for those beatles as well



And maybe it is just me, but when Barry says "I wish they would die," it is the most charming thing in the world. Damn Scottish accents. I just want to hold his hand and protect him from that nasty Welshman (which is odd because I am, always have been and always will be pro-Gruff).

God damn those Scottish accents.

I am going to go buy an ice cream novelty now.

9:53 p.m.

2003-05-30

My constant battle with my clothes

Today is one of those days where my skirt is always on backwards or, at the very least, crooked. Every time I walk anywhere, my skirt gradually, gradually twists around until I look down and realize that things are not as they should be. This means that I have to walk down the street with my hands stuffed deep into my pockets to hold my skirt in place. It looks absolutely ridiculous.

7:20 p.m.

2003-05-30

Because no one should sleep on co-op mattresses for as long as I have

Something was not right this morning. I knew it as soon as I woke up, which was itself suspicious because it was before my alarm went off and I was awake. I mean, not the least bit tired at all. At first I thought I was just confused by the sunshine, since the sun is hardly ever shining when I wake up. But then I realized that that wasn't it at all. It was the crippling pain my back. Here I was, wide awake at 7 am, for the first time in memory, and I was totally unable to move. I thought about how nice the hot water would feel when I got to the shower, but then I thought about the pain involved in maneuvering the 20 ft from my room to the bathroom and I almost cried. I finally managed to sort of roll out of bed and crawl to the bathroom where the hot water was very nice during the process of showering, but did absolutely nothing to help my situation afterward.

Back in my room, I laid down again. Laying down was no help either, though, since, to the best of my knowledge, it is impossible to lay down without making at least a slight use of your back. I finally gave up and took some Meijer brand aspirin free pain reliever (I am officially too poor to buy name-brand drugs now), which I was trying to avoid since I took a whole lot last night in an attempt to stop the headache that would not die.

Now, though, since I am about to go to lunch, we will fast forward to the end of this story: I am at work and my back hurts.

If there is one thing my life definitely has, it is consistency.

12:10 p.m.

2003-05-29

Short stack

Tonight while I was cleaning the kitchen (in the basement, which is a dismal, dismal place for a kitchen), I propped open the door to the outside with a tremendously large jug of pancake syrup. I don't think anything in the world has entertained me more than that jug of syrup and its ridiculous size.

9:58 p.m.

2003-05-29

I need to lead a more structured existence

The date on my computer was screwed up, and when I looked at it I almost had a heart attack. "Friday May 30! I have to be at work at 9 tomorrow!" Because, the way my days are, it could've totally been Thursday all day today (well, yesterday now) and I wouldn't have known anything about it.

1:20 a.m.

2003-05-29

Spam?

I have only gotten four emails all day and they were all from real, actual people. The lack of spam in my inbox, though, has caused me to feel a little invisible. I wonder what has caused them to give up. After months and months of my disinterest did they finally decide that I have no interest in enlarging my penis? I expected more commitment from you all.

Or perhaps they haven't given up. Maybe it is some secret spammer holiday. Or maybe an inservice day, when they all get together and have writing competitions to decide who gets to mail out the porn and who has to do boring stuff like mortgages.

Or maybe they were just too busy. I'm sure that the life of a spammer is full of far more intrigue than the lives of the average human. They probably spend their days injesting fancy tinkling drinks and hopping on international flight after international flight, meeting with head spammers from all the nations of the world. And so there are some days that they just don't have time for people like me.

12:56 a.m.

2003-05-28

I was a playaz girl, myself

These are the most frightening things that $0.50 can buy.

8:53 p.m.

2003-05-28

Summer teevee

I watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on tv the other night. There were commercials every 10 minutes or so, and many of those were for NBC's summer season shows, which I found kind of frightening, and since I don't have anything new to write about, I will write about things I thought about three days ago.

First we have new episodes of Dog Eat Dog (which, according to part of an episode I saw last summer while trying to figure out how my dvd player (RIP) worked, is basically just people taking their clothes off), Fear Factor (I can't believe that people actually watch this show. I watch some terrible stuff, but I have never been able to figure out the appeal of this show), and Meet My Folks (which I have never seen/heard anything about, so I don't really have anything to say here).

Then we come to the knock-offs of already popular shows.

1. Fame: another show that is going to make some bland pop singer into a star for 20 minutes. There are reasons these people are unknown.

2. Last Comic Standing: it's American Idol for stand-up comics! God help us all.

3. For Love or Money: The promos say that, although this show looks familiar, it is actually very different from anything we have seen before. The premise is as follows: many women compete for one man; the woman that the man picks wins 1 million dollars. So, basically, it is a bunch of women competing for money. Sort of like exactly like, you know, that Joe Millionaire show, which was very dear to my heart (except for the huge ripoff of an ending. Blood, people, I wanted blood!) The guy even looks like Evan, who wasn't really that attractive (let's not kid ourselves)*.

And finally, Crime and Punishment: real people put their court cases on tv, presumably because they can�t afford their legal bills or because they don�t understand the difference between good and bad notoriety.

So anyway, what I�m saying is that it is a good thing I bought those 87 episodes of Space Ghost, because summer teevee is looking bleak.





*Which gives me a really great idea: how about making the guy ugly! Like, really hideously dirty and fat and spotted and wretched looking, and then see how many women will get all over him for a million dollars. That would be almost worth watching.

7:36 p.m.

2003-05-27

Out with the old

So, my big purchase of yesterday was, of course, my camera. This purchase was made slightly bigger by the fact that I chose to accessorize the camera with a new computer. The camera probably would've worked with the old one, but it's constant messages of "You are running low on disk space on drive C" and the noise noise noise noise were just too much to bear any longer. And the fact that it was a laptop that had to remain firmly cemented in place at all time (due to the fact that even the slightest movement would cause the power cord to detach and shut the whole computer down, since the battery was totally dead) was not particularly endearing.

I felt sick in the store, though. I feel bad about buying things like groceries when they're not on sale. I keep trying to justify spending so much money at once: (a) the computer and camera only cost about as much as my first computer did to begin with; (b) i got a good deal on financing; (c) i would've had to have gotten a new computer sometime, anyway; (d) i would've been extremely sad if i had gotten home and my camera didn't work with my computer; (e) it's really really cool! It has a dvd/cd-rw drive! The screen on this laptop is bigger than my television screen! (Actually, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that.)

Anyway, if anyone wants to buy a really crummy old laptop or an external cd-rw drive, I might know where you can get one.

PS - My camera is cool too. Now if only I had something to take pictures of. Sigh.

1:44 p.m.

2003-05-26

Details to come

So, let's have a show of hands: who spent over $1000 today?

That's what I thought.

Lightweights.





PS - The sun is shining for the first time in weeks!

2:57 p.m.

2003-05-26

As promised

There were only two calves that weren't afraid of us. The cows all ran away over the hill when we got close to the fence, then they stood over there and mooed until most of the little calves followed them over there. Two of them stayed so long, though, that one of the cows came back over the hill and dragged them away. As far as calves go, they were fearless.

12:33 a.m.

2003-05-23

Milk with nostalgia in the middle

This morning I was all set to eat breakfast when I discovered that during my 6 day holiday in Clarksville, someone had thrown my milk out.

And I don't like to be petty about these things, but I had about 1/3 of a gallon and I distinctly remember the expiration date on it as being May 24, which I remember because when I was in third grade there was a big calendar on the wall with everyones birthday on it, and when May rolled around I would stare and stare at that calendar because my name was on it. Consequently, I memorized all of my classmates' birthdays in May, and one of those classmates had a birthday on May 24. It was, in fact, the classmate that I ended up walking with at my high school commencement ceremony, and whose face will live forever in my family's photo albums, not because he was a terrific friend of mine, but because he happened to be around when we were lining up.

Anyway, in regard to my milk, dear housemate, I know that your heart was probably in the right place; you were only trying to save our refrigerator from some smelly milk. But in the future, please please PLEASE leave my stuff alone, because I would've used that milk even if it had been sour, because above health and well-being, I value frugality. And when I buy a whole gallon of milk, I intend to use that whole gallon. Thank you.

2:43 p.m.

2003-05-22

Space Ghost

A week ago I got 87 episodes of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast* on eBay. I got back into town today, and there was a box here (actually, there were many packages for me, but that is another story), and I opened it up and inside were sixteen cd-rs in a plastic sandwich bag. And maybe the picture quality isn't exactly DVD quality, but I can watch Space Ghost again! I haven't seen it for years! It is almost enough to make me skip Malkmus tonight and stay in and watch Space Ghost all night. Almost.






*Is it true that this show no longer has an official page?

6:54 p.m.

2003-05-22

Surname

Tonight I went to a musical with my parents. I like to think that the things I do are educational. What I learned tonight is that men in ancient Egypt wore wraparound skirts (and looked very fetching in them, too).

There was also a man in the musical who had the same last name as me. It is not a common last name in non-Mennonite circles, so I thought about approaching him after the play and saying, "Hey! We have the same last name!" but I wasn't exactly sure which one he was.

When I was little, my family had some friends with our same last name. They weren't related to us in any way. They had a son who was just a couple of years older than me, and my friends always used to say that I could marry him and not have to change my last name. I think now, though, that if I married someone with the same name as me, I would hyphenate. That would be the coolest thing ever.

12:08 a.m.

2003-05-21

I went shopping

I wrote a letter tonight. Writing letters is very satisfying and I wish I had more people to write to. I mean, I could write to people, but they would think that it was weird that I wasn't just sending them an email. I have some postcard pals, but postcards aren't the same either.

Earlier today I looked at digital cameras. I have no idea what I want or need. I wish someone would've just bought one for me, because then I would have to use that one and like it, and I wouldn't have to spend hour upon hour upon hour standing in Best Buy writing down model numbers and prices and fighting off overzealous salesmen. What I'm leaning towards right now is the Olympus C-740, which is just a newer version of the camera my mom has (which means I wouldn't really have to learn how to use it). It is one of the more expensive ones, though, and I might want to save some money for, you know, groceries and stuff. However, I am also taken in by the cuteness of cameras such as this one, because they are oh so wee and adorable (but will any of these worked with Old Unfaithful, my computer?)

Blech.

Any advice is appreciated.

12:27 a.m.

2003-05-19

Download

I'd forgotten how horrible it is to download music with a dialup connection. On the plus side, though, after a mere 45 minutes of downloading, a new Mogwai song is already 61% done.

I wish my mom would get home from work so I could watch soap operas with her. Watching soap operas by myself seems a little desperate.

2:29 p.m.

2003-05-18

Back to the lake

I used to really like going to the lake because we would take along bread crusts and feed the ducks. Today we went to the lake but let the ducks fend for themselves (suckers).

11:56 p.m.

2003-05-17

I am on vacation

Today started far too early, when I was sent up north to fix my grandma's computer. It was easy to do, and then I went to the ninetieth birthday party of a woman who I do not know. My understanding is that she is my grandpa's sister's mother-in-law. She had a picture of herself that was taken when she was about my age. She was very pretty, but I think that people in old pictures always look very elegant, and this probable raises the attractivness level of even the ugliest of the bunch.

Being ninety frightens me, but I probably won't make it that far anyway.

Lots of people told me happy birthday, though, even my cousin Sam. I am impressed that he remembered my birthday. His was a few days ago too, and I didn't tell him happy birthday, even though I did actually know that it had occurred. Oh well. Sam is 20.

Later, my aunt Sandy of baked bean making fame gave me an African violet, because her plant had babies (I did not know that violets had babies, but there are many things that I do not know). I previously had an African violet that was doing very nicely until it fell out of my window and died since I didn't have the proper materials to repot it.

Am I boring you? Because you can tell me if I am. Later this week, though, I might get a digital camera, and then I will take pictures of cows.

11:36 p.m.

2003-05-16

I only said I'd be back, not that I'd have anything to say

Okay, so the Faint totally blew me away last night. I mean, I only went because Enon is one of my favorite bands ever (don't let their crappy web page fool you), as can be seen from their inclusion in my diaryland profile (if it's in a diaryland profile, you know it must be true). But really, the Faint? Nebraska? Hello? I've been to Nebraska and that is not what it sounds like. It was as close to 1983 as I am ever going to get. At least as close I can get while also being more than two years old.

Anyway, strobe lights were present, Enon did not disappoint (although this is the fourth time I've seen them and they've never played "Sold"), drinks were drunk (not by me), drinks were spilled on my shoes and stockings, a boy stepped on my toe and I thought I was going to die, and this was still my most successful birthday ever. I hope that is a good omen for the rest of the year.

9:31 a.m.

2003-05-16

A revelation

Tonight I learned something: dance music does not have to suck.

Think about that and I will be back in the morning.

1:50 a.m.

2003-05-15

Food

Things I have eaten today:

1 bowl of Quaker Toasted Oatmeal Squares with Skim milk
1 onion bagel with Neufchâtel cheese
1 small salad (lettuce, cucumber, carrots, sharp cheddar cheese, and turkey) with cucumber ranch salad dressing
1 hunk of some kind of Zingerman's bread

That is it. I walked a lot (all around the arb and then to work for a staff meeting), but I wasn't hungry all day. I only ate the salad because I didn't want to be sloppy drunk after my first can of PBR tonight. And since I don't think that salad is going to help, I guess it will just be a dry birthday (actually, all of my birthdays have been dry, so that's not really anything new).

I am off to see Enon and the Faint, after some minor make-up adjustment (my theory is, they make shimmery pink eyeshadow, so you might as well use it).

7:26 p.m.

2003-05-15

DOB

Today is my birthday! If I previously told you that I was going to be 23, that was just a mistake on my part. Many recent happenings have made it obvious that senility is setting in early.

10:17 a.m.

2003-05-14

Everywhere with helicopter

Last night I went to see The Coral with a former housemate. It marked the third time I have gone to a show with Ruths' house personage, although one time it didn't really count because it was at the art museum and the other time it also didn't count because the band was terrible. The Coral was okay (as in, 'meh' - they are also collectively rather short and all appeared to be about 12 years old),the smoking hipster content of the crowd was low to nonexistent, and I spent some much needed time out of the house and with someone else. Plus, I was actually a passenger on the way to Detroit for the first time in three years. I kept exclaiming things like, "Hey, there's a lake over there?!" and "What is that, a big tire*?" But what was most exciting was that one of the car's rear windows was broken and kept falling open the whole way there. This led to noise like you wouldn't believe. It was like going to Detroit in a helicopter.

Today, I am facing a day of full computers at the library, which causes some people to be pissy and stupid. Those people are lucky that other people are nice and understanding, because otherwise I would hit them all with bricks, because I always have bricks with me just for this type of occasion.





*I cannot believe that I couldn't find a picture of the big tire on the internet. Either Google images search has failed me or other people are not as enamoured with this structure as I am.

8:30 p.m.

2003-05-13

Tweezers

I wish tweezers weren't so easy to lose. I am losing a fortune just from buying new tweezers every two weeks.

9:08 p.m.

2003-05-13

My kitchen was clean for a while

Our kitchen faucet is currently not working. It has a note on it that says, "blah blah blah please wash your dishes in the bathroom. It will be fixed by tomorrow." The general house reaction to this note has been, "Or, instead of that, I could just pile my dishes in the sink and not wash them at all, leaving this marinara sauce to dry in an unconquerable mass on this saucepan"

I hope the faucet isn't fixed by tonight, because it is my night to clean the kitchen, and frankly, I'd rather let someone else deal with that mess. It is the cooperative way!

2:45 p.m.

2003-05-13

Journal

So far today:

I was ready for work 20 minutes early - this is without getting up earlier or skipping breakfast. My alarm didn't even go off, in fact. I guess it is easier to get up early and get ready for work when (a) it isn't Friday, and (b) the sun is shining.

Someone called me and asked me to research lipitor for them. It wasn't like, "I have this one article that I'd like to look for in Newsweek," it was, "Well, just find everything in any magazine," which is kind of an overwhelmingly large task. And then there wasn't much (although there have to be more than the few things that were actually indexed), and actually she was pretty nice about the whole thing, I guess.

Someone asked me to cut a coupon out of a library-owned magazine for them.

People have blamed me, the library, and our computer system when they couldn't get the Google homepage to open (PS - you can leave off the "www" but you have to have the ".com," that's just how it works.)

Later today:

I am going to buy records.

Yesterday:

I thought of a million things to write here but I forgot them all by the time I got to a computer.

10:52 a.m.

2003-05-12

In any case, I am leaving them up

The mac and cheese yellow* of my walls and the purple of my Christmas tree lights look so bad together that it is almost good.

Almost.




*This is someone else's description of the color of my room. I, personally, am sticking with mustard yellow.

12:42 a.m.

2003-05-11

Let's make a list

I have about a million notebooks in which I write things that I don't want to forget. I forget things pretty much as soon as I learn them - for example, I met the girl that moved into the room next to mine about an hour ago, but now I have no idea what her name is.

Anyway, when I realized that I was going to be done with school next year, I made a list of things to do so I don't spend the whole time watching trashy teevee. Here are some excerpts:

(4) be a giant cigarette in a commercial
(15) make a game like putt-putt golf only with bowling
(22)compile a list of all of the homonyms I know

7:28 p.m.

2003-05-11

Meeting people is easy

I think a girl moved into the room next to mine last night. I saw her last night when I was brushing my teeth, but I didn't talk to her at all because encountering a strange girl holding a dust pan at 4:30 in the morning is confusing.





PS - If you see my mom tell her happy mother's day. I won't be seeing her because there is a six hour Simpsons marathon today (it's a mother's day Marge-a-thon!). (Oh, I'm just kidding. I wasn't going home even before I knew about the Simpsons marathon.) (OK! I'm not a bad person! I will see her next weekend.)

12:03 p.m.

2003-05-11

Deserted

Living things spotted on eight block walk home:

1 human
1 dog
1 raccoon

4:26 a.m.

2003-05-10

Work schedule

Nothing says rockin' Saturday night quite like cleaning the bathroom. Before, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my evening. Now I am gross and sweaty and, therefore, I don't want to do anything. And yes, I know I could shower, but I just finished cleaning the bathroom and I'd rather it didn't start getting dirty again until at least tomorrow morning.


PS: Today is May's birthday! Too bad that she is in either Manhattan or Aix-en-Provence. And too bad I am too pathetic a correspondent to know where she is. Oh well.

8:35 p.m.

2003-05-09

U!S!A!

So, say someone with an Irish accent asks me if we have a certain book. I look at them blankly and ask them to repeat the title (like, three times), because it's only the first word that sounds different and the rest of the title that they very nicely keep repeating sounds exactly American, and I keep trying to make that first word into something with an American accent and it just doesn't work. And then, after they go on and explain something else, I realize why this isn't working and I feel like a stupid American jerk.

3:48 p.m.

2003-05-09

A secret

I have a confession to make:

I am not a fan of Christopher Guest's films.

I mean, I liked Waiting for Guffman, but by the end of Best in Show all I could think was, "ALRIGHT, I GET THE JOKE ALREADY!" Maybe it was because I am not a huge fan of dogs, as they have chewed on too many of my beloved possessions. Maybe it was because while I was watching the DVD, an intellectual-type stood behind my couch and said, "Oh, this is supposed to be hiLARious," and then proceeded to calculatedly laugh in all of the correct places. Whatever the case, I thought it would never ever end, and when it finally did, I considered the fact that I had watched the whole thing to be a personal triumph.

Not liking Christopher Guest movies is bothersome to me because I feel like I should like them. All of my friends do, and I usually have things in common with them. Also, I feel like if they knew I didn't like them, they would look down on me, so I will pay for my student-priced ticket this weekend and see A Mighty Wind. But it is only so I don't lose friends.

9:41 a.m.

2003-05-08

The Arb: a zoo for trees

So, everytime I decide I'm going to go look for a job I end up going for a walk in the arb. And while going to the arb is a fine thing to do, it is not a good way to make money. Also, it is not advisable to take long walks in the arb after eating nothing but some baked beans and some banana chips, but with only the one job, I don't have enough money to buy anything else, so you can see the trouble here.

5:15 p.m.

2003-05-08

Baked beans from a can

So, I ate some baked beans from a can, and as it turns out, that isn't what I wanted at all. What I really really want to eat are the baked beans that my aunt Sandy makes.

And don't look now, but THE SUN IS SHINING!!!

3:23 p.m.

2003-05-08

You have to know when to hold 'em

I just got some spam from "Kenya Rogers," but at first I thought it said "Kenny Rogers," and for about five seconds I was really really excited. But now I'm not anymore.

12:59 p.m.

2003-05-07

Hungry

I am hungry.

I really want baked beans. The kind from a can.

For the past 2 hours I have been debating on whether or not I want to go to the store and buy baked beans in a can.

It is raining, so I don't think that I will go.

Instead I will eat the guacamole I made yesterday, and perhaps some fake meat of some kind.

For an omnivore, I sure do eat a lot of fake meat.

2:44 p.m.

2003-05-06

Beverages

I bought a bottle yesterday because I was afraid that I am not drinking enough water. I thought that I would be so excited about my shiny brand new bottle that I would drink loads and loads of water.

So far today I have drunk 128+ ounces of water (4000+ ml for you metric-heads). I am afraid I am drowning from the inside, but I just love the bottle so much!

I also drank a 12 ounce can of diet wild cherry Pepsi earlier today. How can one diet cherry cola be SO MUCH better than another? I am sure they both contain the same carbonated water and 'natural' flavors, so it doesn't really make any sense.

I have to go pee now, and then go downstairs and fill up my water bottle again.

10:42 p.m.

2003-05-06

Zingerperson's would be more politically correct

So, what can Zingerman's teach me?

Not a whole lot, as it turns out, although I did enjoy the Zingerman's woman's statements that a deli that sells $45 olive oil attracts the same clientele as a public library.

And we weren't there for even 10 minutes before someone said something nasty about Detroit. The question was, "Why is it so hard to find good customer service?" The answer was, "It's not in Ann Arbor. Maybe in Detroit. . ." and then the Zingerman's lady launched into the spiel that Ann Arbor has a small town charm, and that the stores have a country store appeal. The only people that think this have never actually been to a small town (I will not go on as this kind of issue really is more suited to this blog, which I am a huge fan of).

Anyway, the Zingerman's policy is apparently that they will do whatever it takes to keep their customers. (I am assuming that this is because there are very few people that can actually afford their wares. ) And while it is nice to get good service, there is such a thing as going too far. If I want a sandwich, I just want a sandwich, not a new friend or a dining experience. I have never been to Zingerman's, and honestly, even if I had that kind of money to spend on something silly like food, I like to keep a certain amount of distance between myself and the person selling it to me. It is called negative politeness and, actually, there is nothing wrong with it (while I was thinking about this during the presentation, I got the sudden eery sensation that I always get when something I learned in a linguistics class actually applies to real life).

And I have two words for Zingerman's brownies: over and rated. For the same price as one of theirs, you can buy a whole box of them at the supermarket.

6:55 p.m.

2003-05-06

I hope I get paid for this too

In a little while I am going to a training thing at work that is sponsered by Zingerman's. I am unsure of how a delicatessen which is totally unaffordable to 90% of the world (their cheapest sandwich is $7.50) can teach me how to better serve the homeless pornography aficionados of Ann Arbor, but I have heard that there will be free food, so off I go.

4:19 p.m.

2003-05-05

Beautiful

I can't even begin to describe the color the sky was while I was walking home.

9:22 p.m.

2003-05-04

Helicopters

About an hour ago I walked underneath a helicopter that was about to land. I could see that it was about to land, and I knew that it would cause a lot of wind and flying dirt and stones and sticks and litter, but I kept right on walking because that was my route and I was sticking to it.

5:51 p.m.

2003-05-04

In my next life I will be a pool shark

Tonight I learned how to play pool (yes, I am almost 22 and I never played pool before tonight. It is pathetic.). I also learned that I am bad at it. Whenever I hit anything at all I counted it as a major triumph. Actually getting a ball in a hole meant that we had to all hunker down and await the rapidly coming apocalypse (and, honestly, I don't think we would've faired too well if the rapture came and we were caught playing pool).

Anyway, a splendid night of Pabst Blue Ribbon and spicy pizza, and the man at the door of the Magic Stick called me sweetheart. I have never talked about the man at the door of the Magic Stick before here, but rest assured that he has been the topic of many real (and very hilarious) conversations, and as soon as I fire off an email to a certain someone, I will have someone real to share my amusement with.

And I didn't think this night could get much better, but next on PBS there is a program about kangaroos. woo HOOO.

2:57 a.m.

2003-05-03

No show and teevee

Bad news: the Ted Leo show was actually last night. I am not surprised that I got the date wrong; what is surprising is that this has never happened before, since I refuse to use any sort of personal planning device.

Good news: I have internet access in my room now*! And cable tv**! And a stereo! My little 10' by 8' nook has entertainment possibilities coming out of its ears!




*My last house had a wireless connection and being plugged into a wall seems downright medieval. Also, the ethernet card I am using was totally submerged in water (for about .5 seconds) two years ago. Is that bad?


**I haven't had cable in my own room since I lived in a dorm. I can watch tv in bed (I have to, as there is no room to sit anywhere else)! It is like a hotel! (No, cable in my bedroom is not a good thing. One night I stayed up until 4 watching a documentary about the Lusitania on PBS. That is what my entire summer is going to be like. Oh well.)

8:25 p.m.

2003-05-03

Hooded sweatshirts

Today's seemingly small thing that is joining with many others to ultimately push me over the edge and cause my complete rejection of society is the fact that there are no plain hooded sweatshirts for sale* anywhere in Ann Arbor. Those terrycloth hooded shirt things are everywhere, but I refuse to wear something that is totally hideous simply because it has been declared fashionable for summer 2003.

So, I am off to wash my purple hooded sweatshirt. Even after it is washed, it won't look clean, as it is far, far too old**, However, by the looks of things we are stuck with each other for a while longer, regardless of the filthy look.



*OK, so they had some at Old Navy, but they only had black, heather grey, and heather blue, and some of us would like a little more color in our lives.


**Do people work this way too? When I am 80 will my hair look greasy as soon as I get out of the shower?

4:14 p.m.

2003-05-02

Movies

This weekend, the State Theater's theme is the letter B. They are showing Bend it Like Beckham, Better Luck Tomorrow, and The Big Lebowski, which, as a woman on the sidewalk told her companion, is about 'Woody Harrelson as a pro bowler.' I resisted the urge to tell her how wrong she is because I was in a hurry to get home and watch the Simpsons.

7:05 p.m.

2003-05-02

Kitchens and a co-op language lesson

I don't think I have written about the kitchen at my new house yet. It is gross, terrible and disgusting. This morning while making a sandwich to take to work, I tried to balance bread, knife, and cheese on the only plate I could find that was somewhat clean, I lost control of the cheese and the whole block went toppling to the floor. The floor was covered with dirt, crumbs, bits of paper, and a slick wet-looking substance that might have been olive oil. I picked up the cheese very quickly, and thought, "OK, OK, just wash it off, it will be fine, it'll be fine," but the sink was filled with dirty dishes and although I was eventually able to run the cheese under the faucet, it had become very obvious that I was never ever going to forget that that cheese had been on the floor, and therefore, there was really no reason to keep it.

I was very sad about my cheese, because is one of very few things that I have to eat. Last year, my house bought the basic elements of food, like produce, milk and boxed macaroni and cheese, but at this house I can't seem to find any guff* food except condiments, pretzels and brandy.

Furthermore, I have not yet located a teapot. I know I am perfectly able to boil water in a regular pot, how will I know that it is done without a whistle? Honestly, this is a civilized country and no home should be without a teapot.

I might clean the kitchen this weekend. I think if the sour odor was out of the air it might be a less oppressive place. And besides the Ted Leo show, my big weekend plans are to curl up in a blanket and watch movies/tv (I have cable in my bedroom now. This is bad, bad news.).




*'guff' is co-op-speak for anything that does not belong to one specific member, as in "These are guff apples." Co-op lore says that it stands for "general unrestriced free food," but it can be used for non-food items like laundry detergent too. It can also be used as a verb, such as "I guffed my Veggie Booty because it tasted like fish food." Yes, you too can talk like a co-oper!

3:54 p.m.

2003-05-01

Ted Leo and me will be in the same place at the same time

December 3, 2002: Ted Leo was in Detroit, but it was a Tuesday and I had important things to do for class the next day.

February 22, 2003: Ted Leo was in Detroit, but it was the second day of spring break and I was elsewhere.

May 3, 2003: Ted Leo will be in Detroit and I will actually be there!

7:18 p.m.

2003-05-01

I need a job

Problem: I need another job because I can only work a maximum of 19 hours a week at the one I have now.

Solution: Part-time work in a cafe? I would have to learn how to make lots of coffee drinks, but I could get things for free too! However, I worry that it looks bad for someone with a college degree to seek out employment in a cafe. But on the other hand, I work in a library. That will be my intelligent job (even though I don't do anything intelligent there. we will just presume that what I do is valid because I am surrounded by books.), and the cafe job will be my free food job.

Now that I've talked myself into this, I sure hope that I can get a job somewhere. I feel much better about it now than when I first started writing. Thanks, diaryland!

PS: I will need a 'real' job after the summer. Please keep your eyes and ears open for someone who needs a linguist or a person with a degree in English language and literature.

4:36 p.m.

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