12-31-03
The days when I leave the house are always the most fulfilling.
Today I went to the day care that my mom works at and fixed one of their computers while engaging in a heated debate about Winnie the Pooh with a three year old.
Then I went to the library to see if my schedule for next week had been emailed yet (not having microsoft excel in my life makes it impossible to get my work schedule at home). It hadn't been*, and I went and read a magazine while I was waiting for my mom to get done with work. After scraping together a dollar in dimes and nickels to check out some cds, I went out to my car and saw that I had left my lights on, which is something I always worry about but pretty much never do.
So, my car didn't start and my dad had taken my cell phone with him to work, so the first time that I ever actually needed the thing, I didn't have it. However, I did find just enough change to use a pay phone to call my mom at work and she came and picked me up AND still got to her chiropractor on time.
Later we went back to jump start my car and it started right up (prior to jumpstarting), as if it hadn't sat there groaning in agony when I tried to start it earlier. Sometimes I think my car just likes messing with my mind.
*of course, i checked my work email again just now and it came about an hour after i was in the library. and the library probably won't be open again until friday.
np: David Byrne-Locks and Barges
12-29-03
I don't remember too much from that far back in the past
1. Right this very second my grandpa is on his way here (very probably driving 80+ mph on back roads) to steal a truck! Actually, there is a bit more to the story than that, but ending right there makes it sound more exciting. Except that it is sort of a lie. The original plan was to just take the truck (because he sold it to some guy who stopped paying after the first payment, so the truck is kind of his) except that the guy who 'bought' the truck has the title and so it would be stealing? or something. I'm not sure exactly what is going on, but I know that a lawyer is involved now, so it seems a little more official and lawful.
2. This morning I was shaving my legs for some reason and I forgot that there is a scab on the outside of my ankle. See, I don't look at what I'm doing when I shave my legs because that would make it less bloody and interesting. So, I accidentally hit the scab and it bled and bled and bled. Once it had stopped bleeding, I put tights on and later I was talking to someone (well, not talking so much as mumbling a lot and wondering how I ended up with no social skills whatsoever) and I scratched my ankle and blood started seeping out into my gray tights and it was all sticky and stainy. Then it dried. When I got home, I decided that I wanted to change into jeans and I took off my tights and since the blood from my ankle had stuck into the tights when it dried, so the scab came off with the tights and my ankle bled a whole lot more and I just put on an old sock over it and when/if I ever take it off, it will once again rip the scab off and etc.
3. I've been feeling like crap lately and I didn't know why, since I've been eating actual food groups on a much more regular and uniform schedule than I do when I am living in my own stupid house. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that I haven't had any just plain boring water to drink since last Tuesday at my grandparents' house. I stood by the sink and drank six whole glasses of it. Afterwards I felt refreshed and sloshy.
4. The end. I have books to read.
np: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists-Timorous Me
12-28-03
With a match that's mean and some gasoline you won't see me anymore
The question is: how can something that is both orange and sparkly be so disgusting?
Today my mom and I went to the Meijer store that I used to work at. My mom wanted to look at the clothes to see if she could find a sweater to go with the skirt I gave her for Christmas (which she actually liked, i am amazed to report*). I am always reluctant to look at the clothing in that particular store because that is where I worked. And some of the people that I worked with are still there. And they're not bad people, it's just that I feel no desire to talk to people that I used to work a crummy retail job with. And see, I don't even want to talk to the people whose company I actually enjoyed (rather than tolerated) while I was working there. I'm a burn-all-of-your-bridges type of girl (I've noticed that I've already started doing this with people I met in college, but that is another story for another day).
Anyway, I was waiting for my mom outside the fitting room and I saw someone I knew. I looked at some shoes, hoping she wouldn't see/recognize/feel obliged to talk to me. She did, though, and I had an awkward conversation that began with: "Are you done with school?"
"Oh, yeah, I graduated in, um, May."
Silence, and then, "Justin got married!"
And then I remembered that she is the mother of a guy I went to high school with.
We finished the conversation with some sort of logical progession of statements, and then I stood there and thought about all the people from my class that are married and/or have kids. And it is absolutely unbelievable.
And even though I know that I know that it is more than all right for me to be unmarried at this point in my life, a teensy part of my feels kind of like a failure. I mean, I don't think that I've ever been in a really "serious" relationship, and these people are married. It's crazy.
But then I think about how they will probably be divorced and remarried and have a couple of kids in middle school before I am even married once. And then I feel smug.
And I am always at my best when I am feeling smug.
*I agonize over getting my parents Christmas gifts. It's like I'm afraid that they are going to open them and say, "Well, Kimberly, this gift is stupid and thoughtless and we just don't love you anymore. Please return to your cold and impersonal house, because you are no longer welcome here." I guess that's not very likely.
np: Neutral Milk Hotel-Song Against Sex
12-24-03
South Carolina in review
Long story short: blah.
Long story (really) long:
[the following were all journalled on paper pretty much exactly as they appear here, except that I spelled a lot of things wrong. i don't really expect that anyone will read all of this.]
12/19 I am so tired that I am not even sure I am alive.
-The drive took forever. We didn't get left until around 7 and we arrived at my grandparents' house at midnight. We got into a couple of traffic jams and when we got off of the highway in South Carolina, all of the roads curved around in strange directions and we had to make many phone calls to the family to figure out how to get where we were supposed to be going.
-In the car I thought that it would be fun to create a new version of Clue for the depressed. The charactesr could have names like "General Despair" and "Miss Anthropy" and "Mel Hayes." and in addition to the murderer, weapon and room, you would have to discover the murderer's secret that drove them to murder. ex. "General Despair in the library with the Oxford English Dictionary because he was frustrated by the gruff exterior that is expected of a general."
-So, there's this movie called Wrong Turn, which is really really really bad. But, I've seen it and it has inbred zombie mountain men in it. anyway, the premise (as you may have guessed) is that a bunch of beautiful young people take a WRONG TURN in the mountains and are pursued by said inbred zombie mountain men (who are also cannibals!). Anyway. Every time I would see a little road winding up into the mountains I would think, "oh my gosh, that looks like a WRONG TURN waiting to happen!" with much glee. My delight was magnified when one of them bore the title "Stinking Creek Road."
-Grand Rapids to Toledo: snowToledo-Cincinnati: snowCincinnati-Lexington: snowLexington to Knoxville: snow
Knoxville to Asheville: snow.
We drove 800 miles before it quit snowing.
-When we [finally] got here, I opened up my bag to find that one of my toiletries had leaked. They were in a separate plastic bag, so the leak was contained, but I still had to clean up everything in the bag. I was in the bathroom trying to figured out what had leaked, and I finally decided that it looked and smelled like my facewash. I used some of the stuff in the bottom of the bag to wash my face because I didn't want to waste so much of my [kind of expensive] facewash. So, I was washing my face and my facewash was sudsy all over and all of a sudden I thought, "Wait a minute, this is SHAMPOO!" which would have been perfect if I had a beard or extremely bushy eyebrows. The fact of the matter, though, is that I merely have one errant hair that sometimes grows out of my chin and I just recently underwent some important eyebrow maintenance, so all that was accomplished is that my skin got all dried out.
-After washing my face with shampoo (and then again with real face wash), I didn't know where I could get a towel. There was a hand towel (which was all wet from everyone else using it) and some of those fancy guest towels, but I didn't think that I should use any of those. Rather than walking out into the living room with a dripping face to ask someone, I opted to dry my face on my undershirt. I also made a big messy drippy mess on the counter and flour. I thought, "Great, I've only been here 15 minutes and I've already done 11 stupid things."
-And now I am going to go to sleep in the middle of this big bed, because I usually sleep in a little bed and I might have to share this big bed tomorrow when more of my cousins get here.
12/20 11:36 pm I am in bed! At 11:36! This is what happens when you are in an unfamiliar place with a house full of old people.
-I woke up this morning and had no idea what time it wasd because the alarm clock next to my bed began blinking 12:00! at some point during the night. I didn't get up because I figured that someone would wake me up if something important was going to happen. I was wrong, though, because a little while later I realized that everyone was in the living room and and got dressed and tried to slip, unnoticed into the crowd. No luck, though, as my uncle (who was making some sort of announcement) said, "Oh, there's Kimberly." And my cousin hugged me and I tried not to breathe towards anyone because I hadn't brushed my teeth yet (and my mom had the toothpaste in her room and she was still in bed because she had had an insulin reaction the night before).
-Oh my, though, I had the greatest pineapple in the world for breakfast.
-We (my mom, an aunt, and I) had to go to Wal-Mart to get a few things, and one of my aunts ask us to pick her up some tampons with cardboard applicators. I have only ever gotten tampons with cardboard applicators when I have to buy them out of machines in public restrooms (where usually, when I put my money in them, they refuse to dispense tampons, and then I feel like locking myself in a stall and crying because it is cruel for a machine to eat your last quarter and not give you a tampon).
-Southern iced tea rots my teeth. But I love it so. (My uncle said that my aunt's tea (she is from Alabama) is like table syrup).
-We walked into the little town here and not only does are you not able to pay at the pump, the pumps had those flippy numbers on them! It was like going back in time!
-I proved to be a very uncool person when, on the way home from dinner, I turned the radio station in the car from the crummy pop station that my cousin had set it to on the way over (she asked my mom, "Can we listen to anything? Even if it's not Christian?"). I settled on "The Little Drummer Boy" but what I'd really wanted to hear was ""Hard Candy Christmas," (because yesterday I found out that some extended family member of mine (my mom's cousin, i think) works at Dollywood! Too cool! Remember when I was going to go there for spring break but I couldn't because it is closed in February? Of course you don't, because I never mentioned it here!)
-The sun is shiney here even though it is winter. I am not used to this. They also have remarkably clear nights and I am quite sure that I saw some stars tonight that I have never seen before (I was also quite sure for a while that I had broken my ankle because I stepped in a hole while walking back to my grandparents' house from my uncle's house next door because it was dark and I was looking at the stars instead of the ground).
12/21 11:02pm There was all of this leftover bean dip and I took it upon myself to finish it up. I am literally full of beans. Bear with me. . .
-I thought I was never going to get into the bathroom this morning. I thought I would gain big points (points for what?) by being up and dressed by 8:30, but that was not to be.
-My cousin didn't want to go to church, and my uncle (his dad) stated that first John 5:22 says that "Thou who doesn't goeth to churcheth mayeth noteth eateth luncheth." It doesn't really seem funny now, I guess.
-So, yeah, semi-conservative Mennonite church day. The only women not wearing coverings were related to me (and some of the women related to me were wearing them). I was happy because we sang Christmas songs that I liked and then the preacher opened with a joke that was funny and I thought, "Hey, this isn't going to be so bad!" And then he preached his sermon about how the Christmas tree is rooted in idolatry and that you shouldn't have one. Because nothing says Biblical proof quite as much as a single verse taken out of context. Oh well. It was amusing, anyway, and even some of my relatives who think of as more conservative thought it was ridiculous.
-Before dinner my aunt from Alabama noticed that there were only about three ice cubes in each glass and she said something about how a yankee must've filled them up. I have been known to use entire ice cube trays in one glass of water, though, so I don't know what she was talking about.
-We were getting ready to eat our evening meal and my dad said, "I'm still full" (meaning that he was still full from the meal we had eaten at noon). My cousin said, "You already ate?" And my dad said, "No, from dinner." My cousin replied, "Oh, I thought you meant from supper." The exchange gave me a little thrill of linguistic delight.
-My face is breaking out like crazy. It's like, "Why yes, I am 15 years old and I wash my face in lard every single day!"
-Do other families besides mine play Rook? If so, why?
12/22 11:59pm We are heading for home tomorrow!
-I got up this morning kind of late. I was sitting in the living room, listening to people talk and my grandma walked through. Please bear in mind that it was 11:00am and she was involved in making lunch and a cake and cleaning and doing laundry. She stopped and said, "Kimberly! You haven't eaten breakfast yet!" Food is a huge part of Mennonite families, and it was very hard to explain to grandma that I could just wait an hour a half and eat the huge lunch that was looming on the horizon.
-Yesterday I saw my six year old cousin Danny with some candy, and when he wouldn't share any with me I chased him down and tickled him. Whenever he got a piece of candy today, he would get one for me too. [He is a cute little kid. He slept in a room with his mom and dad and the next day his mom said that he grinds his teeth in his sleep. He said the next time she heard him doing that, she could smack him. And then he was playing Memory with his mom and she wasn't getting as many matches as he was, so he kept trying to give her some of his.]
-I wish that we had had more of a chance to see more of the community. It is not exactly a scenic area, but it would have been nice to get out into the community so that I could make sweeping generalizations about 'the north' and 'the south.' Like. . . ."Southern people have really hot houses! At first I thought it was just my grandparents' house, because it is always hot in old people's houses, but my aunt and uncle's house is hot too. It was forty-five degrees outside! And sunny!
-My grandma has a big bruise and cut on her forehead where a freezer door hit her. It happened Saturday night, but it didn't look so bad yesterday.
-My aunt has the cutest six month old cocker spaniel puppy. Today she was barking and barking and barking, and I was standing by her trying to figure out what her problem was and trying to calm her down because she was really worked up. I thought that there was a squirrel or raccoon or something around, but I couldn't see anything. As it turns out, she was barking at some boxes my grandma had sat on the porch. Dogs are weird.
-My uncles got my grandma and grandpa a mailstation for Christmas. My grandparents are not the most technically inclined people, and the fact that everyone was trying to teach them how to use it at once probably didn't help them at all.
12/23
-Left for home. My grandpa hugged me. It was weird. In the last two years I have been hugged by both of my grandpas for the first times that I can remember.
-My dad said the reason that the roads in South Carolina curve around so stupidly is because they were built on Cherokee trails and they went along the ridges rather than up and down all of the hills. They are still weird and nearly impossible to get around on if you aren't familiar with them. Once we came to an intersection that was shaped like an asterisk.
-My dad called my grandparents when we were in northern Kentucky (he really likes using my phone) and we found out that the puppy was hit by a car. Something about a puppy dying two days before Christmas makes me want to kill myself.
-We drove all night to get home even though my dad had said that he would split the trip home into two days after the ordeal of getting there in one day. He said that by the time he was tired enough to stop, we were already in Ohio and there was no point in stopping when we were already that close. I slept in the back seat and instructed my dad not to get into an accidents because I wasn't wearing my seat belt. And it must've worked, because we didn't.
I have some general conclusions that I would like to make about this whole trip (and some pictures), but I am having ftp problems on this computer (which is not mine) and I also should go wrap the crappy Christmas presents that I bought for my parents and watch the three hours of King of the Hill that I taped while I was gone. Happy Christmas, etc.
np: Stephen Malkmus-Phantasies
12-18-03
Leaving not on a jet plane
dad: I was in the mall looking for a present for your mom and I saw a little girl that reminded me of you. She was sitting on Santa Claus's lap - did we ever get your picture with him, or were you always to afraid of them?
me: I was always too afraid*.
dad: Anyway, she was sitting on his lap, leaning as far away from him as possible and crying. It just reminded me of you.
*******************************************************************
I have to go shower and sleep, because we are allegedly leaving for South Carolina at (get this) 6:30 AM tomorrow!
SIX-THIRTY ANTE MERIDIEM!!!!!
I'd like to say that I am looking forward to this trip, but that would be a fib:
exhibit A: My mom just had to have a tooth pulled and has only been able to eat soft foods since Saturday. Therefore, when she was searching for the most important of road trip essentials (snacks), she didn't get anything crunchy. And everyone knows that the best road trip snacks are crunchy! [She has also stated that this will be a Christmas without homemade Chex mix (although she always uses Crispex), and in my opinion we might as well just cancel the holiday altogether.]
exhibit B: 6:30! AM!
exhibit C: My dad described the church we will be going to on Sunday as 'semi-conservative.' Now, all of my skirts are at least knee-length, but at a semi-conservative Mennonite church even my knee-length skirts are going to look hideously inappropriate.
exhibit E: I have nothing in common with my relatives. Not one thing. And they are going to talk to me, and since I am no longer in school, they are going to expect me to have a real answer when they ask me what I've been up to lately. "Well, I've been experiencing post-graduation malaise and general feelings of uselessness. Oh, and I work part time at the public library."
Anyway, I have to go shower and finish packing and sleep, because, you know, the whole 6:30 thing.
*I wasn't afraid of Santa Claus, I was afraid of anything in a costume. Once we went to Disney World. . .it was horrible. I was the wussiest kid ever.
np: the tv in the other room
12-18-03
Dear john
Dear big pile of dirty laundry,
We've been together a while, and I'll be the first to admit that we've had some good times. But you had to know it would end sometime, that I would shun your renegade ways and settle down with some nice, clean corduroy pants and a fresh-smelling sweater.
I'm very sorry, but I know that you will find someone new, perhaps in a dorm room or the home of a sad and lonely divorcée.
Love,
Kim
PS-I know this breakup might seem sudden, as only last night we drove across the state so that you could meet my parents, but you must have been at least a little suspicious when I left you locked in the trunk for the whole trip.
np: washing machine
12-16-03
Good times are not the ones you want
From the kitchen window over the sink I can look directly into the neighbor's window. He's always in there watching football and doing something on his computer. His desk is situated in such a way that his back is toward the tv. I always wonder why he doesn't rearrange his room so that he can see his tv while using his computer.
Conversely, he probably wonders why I try to eat cookies while washing dishes.
np: the New Pornographers-Letter from an Occupant
12-16-03
An hour ago. . .
I got home from work and went inside the house just long enough to pull on some sweatpants under my skirt, then went outside to clean up the garbage from the yard, and I was standing there in my skirt and sweatpants and coat and hat and it was raining and I was holding a carton of rotten eggs in one hand and a bag of soggy peanut shells in the other.
What I'm trying to say is, I looked hott.
np: the kids in the hall
12-16-03
I guess I should just be happy that the garbage actually got taken outside and I didn't have to do it.
Today our garbage was strewn all over a car parked in front of our house. It looked like [male housemate]'s car, but we haven't seen his car for a while and I'm not sure why it would suddenly reappear, or why when it did reappear, our garbage would be so drawn to it.
Also, I am now working the first of my two nonconsecutive shifts of the day. And someone just took a picture of me a coworker pretending to do work.
np: work
12-15-03
What can brown do for you?
While I was walking to work, I saw a UPS man carrying a messenger bag. It was the first time I have ever seen anyone who could (sort of) legitimately be called a messenger carrying one.
np: work
12-15-03
[male housemate], and i miss the co-ops pt 2.
I was hoping that it was all just a dream, but last night Jessica and [male housemate] got into a really impressive arguing match (at 2:30am! late nite drama! ooh-la-la!) because she has finally had enough of his inconsiderate, "those-two-girls-upstairs-must-be-my-maids" attitude. [male housemate] called Jessica a bitch (twice!) and kept walking away the whole time Jessica was trying to talk to him (and finally ended the argument by running downstairs and jumping in the shower).
I am more the type to just let people walk all over me. Sure, I'll grow more and more angry every time I have to clean up someone's garbage or shovel the sidewalk and eventually I'll probably implode under the pressure, but that sure beats the stress level involved in living with someone you can't stand (and who knows that you can't stand him).
I'd really like some tea right now, but I don't want to go downstairs to the kitchen because I might run into [male housemate].
np: Ted Leo/RX-Come Baby Come
12-15-03
Linguistics 420
Like everyone else on my street, I have Christmas lights up in my room. Tonight I told someone that I bought blue ones this year because I thought it would be like living in a computer monitor. They complimented my metaphor.
I said, "Thank you. I took a class."
And I was sad that I couldn't make a hyperlink in real life.
np: Travis Morrison-Song for the Orca
12-14-03
Laundry day
A while back I said I wasn't going to do laundry until December 19. Well, I had the date wrong (I am actually not doing laundry until December 18), but other than that, it is going very well. I mean, sure, the jeans I am wearing have weird brown stains on them and a waxy black spot on the knee (where I [bafflingly] sat a candle for a minute while I was doing something else). And, yes, these ARE the jeans that I wear every single day that I don't have to work And my dirty laundry basket is threatening to take over my whole closet (which is a very spacious closet indeed). And some of the clothes I have been wearing to work aren't clean in the traditional sense of the word.
But the point is that I set a goal for myself and stuck to it. And also that I saved four dollars (at least) by not paying for laundry that wouldn't get dry anyway.
np: Rilo Kiley-With Arms Outstretched
12-13-03
I wish that you were here with me to pass the dull weekend
I am never more convinced that I was switched at birth than when I go Christmas shopping for my parents. After wandering aimlessly through many stores, I decided to get my mom a sweater or something (which is what I always get her), but then as I was rummaging through a table full of sale sweaters I suddenly realized that even if I did find a sweater that looked like something my mom would actually wear, I was still faced with the even more overwhelming task of finding something for my dad, so I just kind of gave up and went and sat in my car and ate mint M and M's.
And you know, while I was sitting there eating candy and listening to Christmas music on the classic rock station*, I realized that my parents and I actually do have things in common. Like, my mom and I both hate turtleneck sweaters. And my dad and I will both laugh at the same joke over and over and over (although the jokes we will laugh at are usually very different). And my mom and I watch episodes of Passions together (and can correctly predict 90% of the lines) and my dad will always listen to the radio in the car and say things like, "Who sings this song? Guided by Voices?" because he remembers that one time 4 years ago when I drove all the way from their house to Detroit to see them (it was my second concert ever, I think), and it made me sad to think that my parents got stuck with me, and I vowed to do a lot of work for them over Christmas to redeem myself for the things I do that are stupid and annoying.
PS: I finally decided on a skirt for my mom and some Three Stooges DVDs for my dad because he is constantly lamenting the fact that they are no longer anywhere on TV** (although I did briefly think that handbags with boobs were the perfect gift for everyone on my Christmas list).
*my favorite Christmas song on the classic rock station is the Kinks' "Father Christmas" (give us some money). least favorite: "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime" (yeah, you heard me, McCartney!)
**even though:
(a) my dad never, ever sits down to watch tv without falling asleep
(b)he also probably doesn't know how to use the DVD player
(c)I had to order them from half.com and they probably won't arrive in time for Christmas
np: Belle and Sebastian-Piazza, New York Catcher
12-12-03
Movies for idiot insomniacs.
I've been getting really horrible headaches late at night. I always put off taking painkillers for as long as possible because the only kind I have is Meijer brand added strength headache formula,* and I like to limit the amount of caffeinated painkillers that I take after 3am. However, when left with the choice of laying awake with a headache of death or laying awake with no headache, the latter seems like the better option. So, store-brand caffeinated drugs it is!
Anyway, though, all of this lying awake at night gives me time to think, and since I just like to ignore the real problems in my life, I think about things like my changing opinion of Will Ferrell. See, I used to think he was this stupid guy on Saturday Night Live who did that unfunny cheerleader sketch with an annoying woman. And then I disliked him even more when he could never seem to keep his clothes on during interviews on late-night talk shows. But then I saw Old School (first a long time ago at the cheap theater and then the other night we rented the dvd, which stated that it was 'unrated and out of control,' although i failed to see its out of controlness), and it really brought my attention to the fact that Will Ferrell has funny moments.
But maybe this begrudging change of heart was a result of his proximity to a Wilson brother.
Also, I was kind of pleased with myself for making certain connections between Old School and Fight Club, but then I read this and realized that I probably just read it before and then forgot.
And you can think whatever you'd like about the fact that I really enjoyed Old School (twice!), but just keep this in mind: when I went to the video store, my goal was to rent Old School AND Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, but Deuce Bigalow was checked out.
I sometimes worry that I've lost the ability to make a point.
ps: yay!
*i refer to it as 'excederific,' since it is really just store brand excedrin. i am a little disappointed with the name, since most meijer brand products have really excellent names. for example, meijer brand velveeta is called 'cheesy does it.' meijer brand 'i can't believe it's not butter!' is called something like 'for butter or for worse.' actually, i am not entirely sure if i'm right about that. in any case, i am sure that it is something breathtakingly clever.
np: work
12-10-03
I also like "Stick Boy and Match Girl in Love." It is the "Romeo and Juliet" of our time.
I was going to suggest that you all go out and acquire a copy of The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories, by Tim Burton, but some fine person has gone and transcribed the whole thing!
It includes such seasonal tales as "James" and "Stick Boy's Festive Season," but my personal favorite has got to be "Jimmy, the Hideous Penguin Boy."
It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
np: the kids in the hall
12-10-03
cos i'm older and i know.
Once when I was much younger, my parents and I set off on a spring vacation to Phoenix. We stopped in San Antonio on the way there and when we left, I fell asleep in the car. When I woke up, we were in Florida. There had obviously been some sort of change in plans, but to this day I have no idea why our trip was suddenly rerouted.
Ever since my dad announced that we were too poor to fly to South Carolina for Christmas, I have been looking forward to the eight hundred mile drive from here to there. At first I thought it was because my parents and I went on a lot of long car trips when I was little and I wanted to relive sitting in the back seat and looking out of the window and letting my parents worry about and pay for everything.
But then I remembered the mysterious trip to Phoenix/Orlando, and I think the real reason that I'd prefer to drive is because there is always the chance that we could end up somewhere better.
ps: i'm not saying that orlando is better than phoenix. it's just that, at the time, i was far more excited about going to disney world than about seeing some cactuses (and yes, i do know that that is the wrong plural, but i am pretty sure that my degree in linguistics gives me license to do whatever i want to to idiotic irregular plural forms. i mean, what else would a degree in linguistics be good for?).
pps: anyone with any good ideas on what i should read on the trip should let me know. something engaging, but not something so engaging that i'll read it all before we're out of michigan. and something not too difficult because i'll be reading it in the car. but not something utterly mindless either.
ppps: the entry just prior to this was a result of a woman who came into the library and yelled at me for a while about something that had happened before i even got to work. then she said she had to go drive someone somewhere, so she left and i was relieved. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . until she called me on her cell phone to yell at me some more! and to use my first name a lot, because it made her feel big and tough!
lots of other stupid things happened too. but my job is usually really cushy and boring and things like this only happen once in a great while. so i guess it is ok.
np: Pas/Cal-This Ain't for Everyone
12-09-03
go home! everyone!
Here's the thing: do people want me to attack them with a hatchet today? Because that can totally be arranged.
np: work
12-07-03
And every time I close my eyes I dream of my old home
There are some people that annoy me just by being alive. [male housemate] is one of them. By all Darwinian logic that boy should be dead. I have no idea how someone can live for 20+ years without learning how to take care of oneself.
But, seeing as how he often eats meat that has been sitting out on the cupboard for 12 or more hours, I have the constant glowing hope that he will someday die of food poisoning.
Ruths' house, I miss you now more than ever.
ps-go to the second page of the Ruths' website and scroll down to the picture of all the tomato products. guess who was responsible for that overabundance of tomatoey items? it was me! me! for i was food steward extraordinaire for 2 years (but with a co-food steward for 1 of those years). it even says so on my resume (without the extraordinaire part, though).
np: Edith Frost-Cars and Parties
12-05-03
Charity
I was walking home from work and was asked by two people (within 20 feet of each other) if I wanted to donate money to Mott's Children's Hospital. I could've launched into a big explanation about how I was just coming from my job which sometimes requires leaving my bag/purse unattended at a public library information desk so I don't keep any money in it because it might get stolen and then I would be sad, but I didn't think I was really required to explain my whole life to people collecting money for charities. So I just said, "Sorry, I don't have any money with me."
And, you know, I am usually quite happy to give handfuls of coins to charities because I hate change (the noun, although I'm not a fan of the verb). I have been known to throw pennies away (hah. take that, economy!) because they are so stupid and useless. But, of course, the people on the street don't know that, and they probably think that my bag was stuffed full of cash from all of my recent lottery winnings and that I really just want children to die.
np: the tv in another room
12-04-03
But am I white trash yet?
I bought some tights at the dollar store. The color reminds me of the time I couldn't find any maroon tights and just decided to buy white ones and dye them and they turned out all uneven and liney. And also, the dollar store didn't want to lose the 7 foot tall female demographic, so they made all of their tights extra, extra long (i mean, the dollar store manufactures all of their products, right?), and the extra nylon is hanging around my ankles like the Saggy Baggy Elephant's skin.
But oh, they were cheap.
I actually went to the dollar store because I wanted some toothpaste to use for the next two weeks, but all they had were strange kinds that I had never heard of before, like "Dentakleen," which doesn't even have a website. And since everyone and his or her brother has a website these days, there's no way I'm using a toothpaste that doesn't have one.
np: work
12-04-03
I've got pins and needles for you
Today a tiny kitten tried to kill me, but during the whole time he was trying to gouge out my eyes and scratch open the veins in my arms, all I could think about was how cute he was. His cuteness was absolutely exhausting.
Also, I am now the proud owner of an extremely cheap (and cheap looking!) bookcase. I naively believed that all of the tools required would be included with the set, but when I got home and opened the box, I discovered that I needed a screwdriver and a hammer if this cheap little bookcase was going to become a reality. My roommate had a screwdriver, though, and since my recent adventures in doorknob removal taught me that any heavy object can magically be transformed into a hammer, I started the project with a song in my heart and a spring in my step. However, after numerous attempts at nailing the flimsy cardboard back to the assembled frame of the bookcase using tools like soup cans and bottles of moisturizer, I became dismayed and the project is now on hiatus until I can get my hands on a real hammer. Or possibly, on hiatus forever, since it works just fine without the back and, let's be honest, I'm not really known for seeing projects through.
And: four things that make me happy:
1. pear scented candles
2. shiny brand-new pas/cal track available for download at pascalgoespop.com
3. gimmenoise.com
4. cheap tights at target
+etcetera (all superficial)
np: Super Furry Animals-Fire in my Heart
12-02-03
cos it's true, that's what i like about you (what i like about you) HEY
My newest vice is that I listen to loud classic rock while in the kitchen baking, cooking or cleaning (or while standing in the kitchen looking as though I could begin baking, cooking or cleaning at any moment).
Also, tonight I made shepherd's pie. Then I ate it. Therefore, I am a shepherd.
And also, I am attempting to go without doing laundry until December 19. Therefore, come December 16 or so, I will be a filthy shepherd.
I am not pyschologically prepared for it to be December.
np: Stephen Malkmus-Vanessa from Queens
12-01-03
Because you can't teach what you can't sell
Perhaps I will have more to say later, but right now I will just say that I have a black eye, and it kind of makes me feel like a badass.
np: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists-Under the Hedge
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