2002-11-27
Once I tried to get my work done early
I spent the morning finishing up the ol' Old English exam. Being the overachiever that I am (cue laughter), I thought I'd hand it in before Thanksgiving Break even though my professor said handing it in afterwards would be fine. He also said that we had until 4pm to the English Department. He was wrong, as when I arrived at the English Department at approximately 3pm, the entire place was boarded up with signs that said, "Closed for Thanksgiving Break. Will be back 8am Monday."
So, my morning was pretty much wasted. At least, I guess, I don't have to worry about it over break. I do, however, have to worry about my 20 page metaphor paper, my Old English presentation, and my astro constellations quiz. Yes, my kind professors have ensured that I will have plenty to do whilst in the bosom of my family.
2002-11-25
I own a 92 honda civic
So, the front page story in today's Ann Arbor News asks the question that's been on everyone's mind: What Would Jesus Drive?"
Key quotes:
"Of course it raises our consciousness ... I don't just think in terms of me, I think in terms of what's important for all of us," said Karen Hinkley, who drives a Ford Explorer and aired her concern over driving an SUV in her Bible class at Emanuel United Church of Christ in Manchester. "But they're putting these cars out there and I really like my car and I don't want to feel bad about driving it. If they can come up with a better idea on how to save fuel, that would be good."
So, if Ms. Hinkley is thinking about "what's important for all of us," and the fact that SUVs are bad for the environment is common knowledge, then why does she continue driving it? Um, like, ". . .I really like my car. . ." Also, just because SUVs are produced, doesn't mean you have to buy them. Just so you know.
"People are often not aware that an SUV is bad for the environment."
Where have these people been?
Kurtyce drives a 1972 VW, but the family also has a Ford Explorer. "It's the safety issue, with an 8-, 6- and 1-year-old. ... I want the kids to be protected. I wish they had a fuel-cell tank," he said.
"It's a safety issue, with an 8-, 6- and 1-year-old. . . .I want the kids to be protected. The kids in the other car can die instead." (OK, so that perhaps was reading way more into what he said than meant. But still.)
Unrelatedly (well actually, sort of relatedly, because I would never read the Ann Arbor News if I wasn't here), guess who volunteered to stay an extra hour a half at work? No, really, guess!
But alas, I gave away the answer during my parentheseed commentary. Oh, alas.
2002-11-25
Shelving people magazine is an educational experience
Let me tell you something - any world where Ben Affleck is the sexiest man alive is not a world that I want to live in.
2002-11-24
A night to brendember
The first ever sighting of a male bartender at the Magic Stick + Brendan Benson and the Wellfed Boys + The Von Bondies and Brendan Benson and the Wellfed boys performing "It Came From Japan" during the encore=My blue eyeshadow was not wasted.
But am I the only person in (the) Detroit (area) who doesn't like the Waxwings? It's so hard to tell, what with the Indie Rock Straightface�, an' all.
Also, re: the title - gimme a friggin break, it's 4:22!
2002-11-23
Yikes
Blue eyeshadow should come with a warning on the label.
2002-11-23
A night to dismember
Reasons to love the Dismemberment Plan:
1. They can pull of a line like "happiness is such hard work and harder every day" without sounding ridiculous and whiny
2. Travis has mastered the art of talking just enough between songs - not so much that you that you think, "ALRIGHT JUST PLAY ANOTHER SONG ALREADY," but enough so that you feel like you paid for a whole show: not just words, music too (or vice versa)
3. They can make a song like "The Ice of Boston" - which isn't a happy song at all - into a dance party
4. Travis might sing an Elliott Smith song during 'OK, Joke's Over" - you never can tell
5. After a drunken Canadian yells something (can't remember what), Travis will make him get onstage and dance - the Canadian's attempts to get off the stage will result in Travis holding him in a headlock
6. Five shows later, I'm still left with almost nothing to say
2002-11-22
Something to do
Stand near a busy street in the rain. Not close enough to get hit, or anything, just close. Focus your eyes on something on the other side of the street. Stand very still as the cars speed by in front of you.
You will feel very far away.
2002-11-20
Ginguistics
A paper that I'm reading for my metaphor class - (the correct response to that statement would be, "You're doing the reading for your metaphor class?" but I digress) - entitled "World Order" and written by Cooper and Ross talks about certain phrases in which word order is fixed. For example, "bigger and better" sounds fine while "better and bigger" does not.
Anyway, Cooper and Ross have a list of such phrases organized by the semantic domains in which they fall into. My favorite is number 21, which looks like this:
Power Source: bow and arrow; sun and moon; car and driver; horse and carriage; bourbon and Coke; gin and tonic
Gin: empowering tonic since, I dunno, forever
2002-11-20
Inside, things are happening
Two pages of my paper are done - two more will be finished and the whole completed thing will be ready for it's release into the world by 2pm tomorrow - really, it will. Hopefully by 1pm, so I can go to astro lecture. I have no real delusions about actually getting to my 10am discussion section, though.
I have not entirely lost my mind.
Duty - I mean - sleep calls. A 7am time of departure has been set for the completion of my paper. I have high hopes for this paper, as it was the first one all semester in which every single word wasn't a battle. I think that's a good thing.
2002-11-19
I am doing homework
Memorize and regurgitate
Isn't learning wonderful?
(Firewater, "Woke Up Down")
2002-11-19
Knowledge, etc
I learned two things this weekend (which was actually over yesterday, but in my idealistic version of the world, I've chosen to ignore that):
(1) Eminem is left-handed (thanks, 8 Mile!)
(2) Some people have never seen a 30-story abandoned building
2002-11-15
Almost
Today was a beautiful and unlikely twilight of an occurrence in which everything that I needed to buy at Meijer was on sale.
Just so that I realized that this was actually my life, and not someone else's idyllic existence, all of the aforementioned sale items were, of course, sold out.
2002-11-15
I passed, alright?
Guess who passed her astronomy exam?
OK, so I asked a similar question before, but there is a key difference here.
Passed?
Not only passed, I 'll tell you, but passed with a higher grade than the class average (which was only a 74%, but still). If you don't believe me, go to this page and try to guess what number I am.
Hah. This calls for dinner and 8 Mile. And beer. And a movie on my brand new dvd player which will not, sadly, play my Rings Around the World dvd, but I have yet to figure out if that is the fault of the player or of the disc.
2002-11-13
I need a pet
I petted the nicest cat ever on the way home from work. I coaxed him out of the street and then talked to him out loud for a long time: "Hello there. What is your name? You are a nice cat, aren't you? Where do you live? I think you should go home. Someone is probably worried about a nice cat like you." I was going to feed him the sandwich that I was carrying because I thought that it would make him go home with me, but then I realized that someone probably did wonder about him, and I said, "Seriously, you should go home now," and scratched his little head and he rubbed on my ankles by way of farewell.
When I walked through the front door of my house, I was beaming.
For real.
2002-11-12
I'm not in love
On the phone a few minutes ago I said I was going to send a birthday card to someone who was a really good friend of mine in high school, but who no longer has any time for me now that she is in love.
The card was going to say this:
Dear Sally*,
Why are you such a jerk?
Happy birthday!
love,
kim.
ps. Where does your boyfriend buy his clothes? They are ugly.
*not her real name
Lest anyone think that I am overreacting, please bear in mind that Sally used to email me a lot after we were both first in college. Then one day she decided she was in love with "John" and suddenly had to spend all of her online time emailing him. When she did find a spare moment in which to drop me a line, it was all, "John John John John John John John" and not a whole lot else. Which makes for some boring reading and I eventually stopped replying.
This summer she had a baby and wouldn't let anyone else (except John) touch it. She still lives with her parents (John lives in Canada and they have to go through a whole lot of paperwork so one of them can move - but didn't they have nine months to take care of this while she was pregnant?) She eventually allowed her mother to hold the baby, mostly because it meant that she could have free day care while she was at work. The other day, Sally found pictures of other people holding the baby that were taken before she deemed it appropriate and yelled at her mom for a long time. Her mom: (a) lets Sally live at her house for free; (b)takes care of the baby for free; (c) is probably paying for most of the hospital bill (the baby was born 2 months early); (d) goes to work in place of Sally when she doesn't feel like going; (e) says that John has only said "thank you" to her once, for anything, since they met 3 years ago.
It has been pointed out to Sally that she has pretty much succeeded in alienating all of her friends and family. She doesn't care because she is in love.
2002-11-11
Home and where i live
I went home for the weekend, but by the looks of the empty gin bottles strewn throughout my house, I would have had a much better time had I stayed here. As it was, I saw a Super Furry Animals video (my second one ever, i think) and ate a lot of candy.
I also noticed that when I am in Clarksville, I refer to Ann Arbor as home, but when I am here, I refer to Clarksville as home (except in the case of "I'm going home from work now"). But if I ever introduce myself to people in a non-school related setting, I say, "I live in Ann Arbor" or "I'm going to school in Ann Arbor" never, "I'm from Ann Arbor."
I think about these things a lot.
2002-11-09
A bad neighborhood
OK, so I didn't write this one either. But nothing happened to me today except that I had an exam and saw a supercute boy in a copyshop and was immediately stricken with a dreadful inability to talk. Damn
But this is what happened Thursday afternoon. I edited it to remove certain personal detail (like last names and street names), but other than that it is there in all of it's Arthurian glory. Because I don't have ideas of my own.
I have one thing to say, though. Cyan and magenta cap? Arthur must really be a girl!
Date: Thu, 07 Nov 2002 22:50:57 -0500
From: Arthur
To: ruths
Subject: That hinged thing by the mailboxes
Ruthians,
Per request of our esteemed and noble leader, Benjamin M. [last name deleted], you are all entitled to one story, Arthur style. However, due to the convolution of the "Arthur Style" of programming, a quick translation will be provided at the end of this correspondence. if (timeToWaste < aFewMinutes) { goto< SummaryAtEndOfPage; }
Its no secret that I don't sleep during times which most sane people would deem 'normal', but even though the story in question takes place at Noon, I am fully convinced I was not dreaming. I had been awake a full five minutes!
I have a beautiful view from the east facing window in room 9 [also known as the Upstairs Living Room] which allows me (as I sit at my computer) to gaze at the wonders of modern automotive engineering [and on Tuesday mornings, observe the intricacies of Ann Arbor's waste management program... and no Ben/Rusty, that's not a Mafia reference]. Normally the view is rather static, so the ambulation of any creature or vehicle through this framed view into the great outdoors captures my attention rather easily. This Thursday morning at 12:05 pm was no different.
I was being bored in my truant style [truancy from my employment, not education] when I glanced out the window and spied a young man who was of elevated stature [that means TALL] in a cyan and magenta cap doing a rather poor job of entering his vehicle. Strangely enough his key was shaped like a wire coat hanger, and the keyhole was a slot between the window and the sheet metal of the door exterior. This was rather peculiar, but even more strange was the young man was acutely aware [that means severely aware... I'm not talking angles. =)] of every single vehicle and humanoid [and seemingly squirrel] that passed by, and it broke his concentration dealing with this rather uncommon keyhole.. he just kind've froze.
Though his efforts were valiant, obviously he was not equipped with the correct key. A red vehicle suddenly rolled up into a position flanking the shamefully uncooperative silver car and open its trunk. Out popped a man [from the car door, not the trunk] who quickly went to the trunk and grabbed a better key. I believe this kind of key is commonly referred to as a "Slim Jim". I'm not sure where that name comes from, but it was kind've skinny/slim. The Jim part eludes me. But I digress. In a matter ofmoments the silver car was open, and the owner [I'm assuming the ownership bit, so don't quote me on that part] of the slim jim and driver of the red car [who were in fact the same person if you didn't get that bit] got back into the red car and drove off...
Mr. "I don't know how to unlock a car for the life of me" opens up the now unlocked car, pokes around for about 30 seconds and leaves with a stack of somethings. What things? I dunno things. Just things. But he threw the coat hanger shaped key thing at the house the car was in front of [which is directly across the street from us... which you could've figured out because I think I mentioned the car was parked across the street as well...] and walked right up to the front door of the house [the one on L. because there's a side door that seems to have a different house number] and walked in.
Very sketch. So me being an indecisive person couldn't decide how sketch that event really was, so I asked Kim how sketch she thought it was, and she confirmed my thoughts that it was "sketch enough" so I relayed the story to the boys in blue, and they sent one who poked around across the street a bit.
Oh, and while the boy[singular] in blue was standing across the street looking at the house across the street a guy walked past our house [not across the street] carrying a VCR. yeah. Weird. Whatever.
So the point of the story is... Weird things happen even at noon-oh-five [not just when the DVD player is feeling lonely at 2am]. So we should lock the door WHENEVER we leave the house. Even during the day. Cuz sketch things happen. And it's better to not have YOUR possessions sketched away with. Bring your key with you. Always. Lock Door. Good. =)
-----------------------------------
:SummaryAtEndOfPage
Okay, Simpler version. I called the police and reported what appeared to be a break-in to a car parked across the street from us and thievery of contents of the car. The person who entered this vehicle then entered the house across the street from us, so I assume he lives there. And then I (Kim can corroborate) saw some random person carry a VCR past our house and enter the house next door, assumedly because they live there. So, the idea is that, because both these things happened at noon in broad daylight, even though they might not have been actual criminal activities [they just appeared that way], we should keep the front door locked all the time, so we don't fall victim [again].
2002-11-07
I'm fairly sure my days aren't always like this
Time has told that, yes, I could get to my 8:30 Old English class, although I did not arrive until 9 because my printer wasn't working. As it turns out, there was part of a lamp in it.
When I went home for lunch, Arthur saw our neighbor breaking into a car with a coathanger (it was actually a lot shadier than just that) and called the police. When the police got there, we stood with our faces in the window and watched - which was a very good way to draw attention to ourselves.
Imaginary conversation between our neighbors:
Fred: Hey, Bubba, who do you think called the cops on us?
Bubba: Gee, I don't know. You don't think it was those co-op kids, do you? The ones with their faces pressed up against the glass?
Anyway, while we were standing there, another neighbor walked by carrying a VCR under his arm. Arthur went and made sure that our VCR was still in the basement.
I don't know how everything turned out because I had to go to class. I got stuck in an elevator in Angell Hall and then we had to make a model of the solar system in the hallway. It took the terrestrial planets forever to figure out what they were doing. Earth was like, "How could I, Superfratboy, have done my math wrong?" Saturn, Neptune and I really would've liked to use their meter sticks. Saturn finally took charge and measured his six meters with only one stick and after I was done being Tragedy Girl (Saturn: "How many AUs is it?" Tragedy Girl (in a decidedly distressed tone of voice): "I don't know, I only found kilometers!" Saturn: "OK, how many kilometers?"), I measured from there. By this point, it was only me and Neptune left, all by ourselves in the dark recesses of space (which was actually the hallway on the brightly lit fifth floor of Angell Hall).
Then I went to Wazoo and bought the new Badly Drawn Boy album, which strikes me as not being as good as I'd hoped, but I've only listened to it about 0.7 times, so maybe I need to give it a chance, eh?
Now I am at work. Wooooo!
2002-11-07
Half of my paper is just a list of metaphors
Well, I'm calling it a night.
Will I wake up in time for my 8:30 Old English class?
Only time will tell.
2002-11-06
Greetings from Meta-4, pt. 2
I can't write my paper.
Papers should deal with some metaphor theme, or some other topic related to lexical semantics and metaphor. They should not be surveys of literature (though of course sources must be cited) or theoretical arguments (though of course any theories that are used must be acknowledged), but rather data analyses, or English of (preferably) some other language.
But what am I supposed to do, exactly? And I think that at this point we've only had about two classes relating to metaphor at all!
It's only a rough draft due tomorrow. But it's due and so far all I have is too bad to even hand in as a rough draft.
2002-11-06
Three cheers for the third planet!
I have an astronomy exam on Friday over the terrestrial planets.
So far, all I've learned in astronomy is this: outer space is incredibly boring. All that's out there are rocks and volcanoes. The reason we don't live on Mars is because, even if the weather conditions changed and we could physically survive there, we would die from the horrible boredom.
My conclusion: astronomers need to get lives. Earth is obviously where it's at! Venus, Mars and Mercury are the ugly sisters.
2002-11-06
Puffy coated twins
Puffy coats are so last year.
And they weren't even attractive then.
2002-11-06
Computers and shoes
We had a laptop party earlier this evening in which we were gathered around five computers in the living room looking like major geeks. In reality, we were exchanging links, like the pirate kittens one and the related Destiny's Child kittens one. My computer, of course, misbehaved terribly during its first foray into public in a long while, bringing great embarrassment upon me.
Anyway the girls wanted to find out just how whorey Christina Aguilera's video really is, so we gathered around that while the boys hiphopified websites with something that I can't remember the title or link for, not once deigning to even glance in poor Christina's direction.
Much later, after digging my way through three thousand entries in a metaphor dictionary, at precisely 12:58am when I was leaving the grad library, I saw a girl with my shoes. My exact superterrific flourescent orange Sauconys.
It made me sad.
2002-11-05
We'll always have the Ronettes
Producing Starsailor.
And possibly the Vines.
Phil, Phil, Phil.
Why?
2002-11-05
Viking kittens
In case you were wondering, I can withdraw 150 books from the library in only 45 minutes. Of course, this is without checking each one to see if anyone has placed requests on them. So, if you were looking for a book about the best campsites in 1984, consider yourself personally screwed over by me.
Also - we hve the Google toolbar here at work, and I usually get bored and see what other people have been searching for. Usually it's pretty humdrum kinda stuff, but today we had "viking kittens." Viking kittens!
2002-11-04
Busy as a bee
I'm supposed to be at work, but instead I got up late and inadvertently melted abdout 5 cds and cases that belong to my housemates when I used the toaster oven.
I can accomplish a lot before 10am.
2002-11-03
I'm against stupid anti-tobacco commercials
During The Simpsons there was a commercial whose final scene declared, "Tobacco is wacko if you're a teenager!" Cos, like, if you're not a teenager, smoking is a totally great idea! Really, it is!
My clothes smell like cigarettes.
2002-11-03
October summary
According to the autosummarize feature on Microsoft Word, this was my October in 10 sentences:
****************************************
Ah, summer 2002. Also, do not schedule rock shows on Friday, when you have your stupid club night. Dear diet vanilla Coke:
kim.
Dear WCBN,
kim.
Chris: speaks Japanese fluently
Kim: speaks Spanish and French badly
Seriously.
Seriously.
From my Old English textbook glossary:
****************************************
It's not really that far wrong.
Also, I get porn in Danish. Do you?
2002-11-03
Chivalry is dead
I hate to say it because it seems like such a stupid 1800ish thing to say, but sometimes being a girl doesn't seem worth it if you're not also pretty.
2002-11-02
My halloween treat
I love the Volkswagen New Beetle Convertible commercial. It has filled much of my time during the crappy 9-6 Saturday shift.
A conversation from Friday that's just too good to forget:
"Did you do anything special for Halloween?"
(me)"No. Well, sort of."
"Well?"
"I ate cookies out of the trash can."
"What?"
"Emily made some cookies, but she forgot an egg and threw them away. They were good, though, so we dug them out of the trash and ate them."
[blank, disgusted look]
"They were wrapped up in tinfoil. There was nothing wrong with them. Me and Tamar ate the whole pan."
2002-11-01
Cause of death: Richie Tenenbaum
One of my friends is unknowingly contributing a guest entry today, in the form of an email. This is, at least, proof that other people had a more exciting halloween than me and at best, it is one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life.
Also, many photographs of my new supercool shoes will follow, as soon as I can make my crappy digital camera work. In the meantime, please imagine the orangest shoes that you can, then multiply the orangeness of those shoes by, oh, about 40. And then you have my shoes. They are, obviously, the greatest shoes ever.
OK, an email from May:
I gotta say that i really needed the hat. There were actually quite a few sailors walking around (girls and guys), and i was not the cutest (Damn). Most people could not guess what i was (notice the nautical button detailing, people!!!) and by the end of the night I resigned myself to being waldo (sans wool cap, sans cane). because it enabled me to wear my fleece continuously.
the best part of my night, though, was meeting richie tenebaum.!. I know.!. I was so excited. I saw him walking down the street, and pause, then screamed, richie tenenbaum!! he was nice enough to humor me and elicia and we chatted for a bt, i was very sorry i didn't have a camera, esp in the course of gushing, richie pointed back to his friends, who were uzi and ari....
i could've died.
it made my night kim. SEriously, that was the best part.
i wanted a picture so bad for posterity, but also to show you.
it would've killed you too.
two girls, slain, by royal tenenbaum look-alikes.
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