2002-09-03
from May
"8:30am - 10pm... that s a long time to be talking about ur feelings and shit"
2002-09-03
Farewell, summer
I went home for the weekend - some of my clothes (mostly the ones I need for work) decided to stay there. Which means, of course, that I get to wear my 'normal' clothes in place of my work clothes. Which means that I might get fired because my normal clothes are cra-pee. Which means that I won't have money to go the the three million shows that I want to go to. Which pretty much ruins my whole autumn.
Oh yeah, and school starts tomorrow.
2002-08-30
Bleh
Note to self:
Remove all old registrations and proofs of insurance from the glove compartment of car (esp. the ones with the previous owner's name on them) so that the next time you get stopped by the cops you can find the right one in a more timely manner.
2002-08-28
Combos
I just went on my break, and as I entered the staff lounge I thought, "Ohmigod, Combos!"
When I got closer, I disappointedly thought, "Oh, pepperoni pizza Combos."
But then I thought, "Ohmigod, COMBOS!"
2002-08-28
Chomskybot
Wheeeeeeeee! The professor that is teaching my Metaphor class this semester is the creator of Chomskybot!
2002-08-28
I admit that I have a problem
I meant for my airport entry to be beautiful and smooth, like the stainless steel walls, but instead it was just stupid.
I am addicted to Zingerman's tea. I was boiling water in the kitchen and Thibaut walked through. I quickly hid all of my tea-making paraphrenalia, but he pointed at me and said, "Eh, Zingerman's," with a French accent.
2002-08-27
Airport
I got up at 6am because I told May that I would pick her up at the airport. No one else in my house was awake, and it was very quiet, and I spent a half hour sitting in my bed and looking at a bunny that was in the yard of the house across the street. After he was scared away by a garbage truck, I managed to get out of bed, but by then it was much later and I only had time to shower and jump in my car.
The Detroit Metro airport has a new terminal, and as luck would have it, that's where May's plane was landing. I checked the passenger pick up area to see if she was already waiting, and when she wasn't, I thought, "Oh well, I'll just park in this multi-level parking garage." (*note* I remember actually thinking the word(words?) multi-level. Not "I'll park in this here garage." Not "I'll park in the only garage." "I'll park in this multi-level parking garage.")
Of course, once you've passed the passenger pick-up area, you can't do something simple, like turn around and park, so I made a loop around the garage (probably a much larger loop than was actually necessary), and found my way into the parking garage where I was stopped by two security guards who wanted to search my trunk. I obligingly popped open my gas tank door. Then I giggled and popped open the hatchback and remembered, with a little embarassment, that it was filled with old clothes. The security guard said nothing about the fact that the trunk of my car looked like a mini-thrift sstore, and even closed the gas tank door for me. I drove up the ramp and took a ticket, dropped the ticket, got out of my car and got my ticket, all the while hoping that gate wasn't suddenly going to slam shut, and finally, I found that I had successfully entered the parking garage.
My next problem was figuring out where I was. Big signs told me that I was on level 6, but there were no signs telling me what terminal area this corresponded with. I finally decided that, since there were elevators, I'd just park near the connector. I made a point of looking hard at the level that I had parked on, but by the time the doors slid open in front of me, I couldn't remember if I was on 6a or 6b or 6c or if I'd accidentally gone down a level and was now on 5.
Airports, all airports, impress me with their modernity and spaciousness. I sat down in a chair (at 8am, I was one of very few people there) and read a book and thought about what a nice place it would be to study in. The soft whirrring of the air conditioner, the lighting, the shininess of the metal everywhere. Yes, I thought, I could live in this airport.
I saw a girl from far away and I thought, "Oh, that can't possibly be May," but as time went on I began to convince myself that it really was her, so I chased her around until I discovered that it wasn't her after all. I eventually did find her, and we had breakfast at Big Boy where I drank lots and lots of tea.
2002-08-26
This woman talks to me about hair-related things a lot
The Greek woman at work asked me what kind of shampoo I used. I looked sheepish and said, "The Meijer brand heat-activated kind."
"Is it the best?" she asked.
"Um, no, probably not," I admitted.
"Come here, I will show you the best shampoo." She takes out a bottle of shampoo. "This is the very best. I used to have lots of hair like you, but I didn't use good shampoo, and I lost it. You must be very careful and only use the best shampoo."
And while I appreciate her concern for my hair, the whole conversation did nothing but make me remember and giggle about the Muppet wig racing sketch:
"I do not use sham poo for my wigs - only use real poo. Nothing but the best poo for my wigs!"
2002-08-25
Maybe someday you can go to Detroit
Lately, I find myself getting teary as I browse The Ruins of Detroit. Also Motor City Lives and Detroit Pix.
I am drinking tea that Thibaut got from Zingermans, and da-yum, it's the best tea ever!
2002-08-25
Pills
This part of my bookcase makes it look like I might have a problem.
And I do.
And that problem is that I don't throw away empty Excedrin containers.
2002-08-25
I should really go to bed
More thoughts of my life through popsongs:
1. I could be in love with almost everyone. I think that people are the greatest fun.
2. Maybe all I need is a shot in the arm.
3. Don't be a stranger, be a friend.
But perhaps most important:
4. I ain't wasting no more time.
2002-08-25
Cleaning the closet
In a followup to my rockin' Friday night, I decided to make Saturday night equally rockin' by spending my time cleaning my closet and dresser, trying to decide which clothes to give away and which to keep. This is extremely difficult for me to do, as I grow very, very attached to my clothing. I keep things I haven't worn for years, just because they have some sort of memory attached to them.
Well, with an enormous effort of will, I have decided to give 4 such shirts to Goodwill. I will not let them go without a memorial, of course. Here are my four shirts that will soon no longer be mine:
A flowery polyester shirt which I got at Goodwill and wore throughout my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college. The first time I wore it in college, a girl grabbed me in Angell Hall and said, "Do you know [Joe Smith]?" When I stared at her blankly, she added, "Because he has a shirt JUST LIKE THIS." It is far too big, but that's the way I was wearing clothes then.
Another Goodwill shirt. A green men's workshirt, which I wore nearly every single day during my senior year of high school (but not once since then), a sort of security blanket that I could wear (my purple hoodie serves that purpose now). It seems horribly big now - I don't remember it being so big back then.
Last year, my friend Abby lived across the hall from me in the dorm, but, for reasons that I don't care to get into, she left after fall term. Several times during winter term she came to visit, and every time she came we would do some sort of project. Once that project was tie-dying. I've only seen her a couple of times since then, and both times we seemed very far apart. (A note: I had wanted my shirt to turn out purple, so I just used the red and the blue ink. It didn't turn out purple; it turned out ugly.)
My high school circle of excellence shirt. I was inducted into the circle of excellence for a children's story I had to write for Spanish class entitled "Paco el Pato" (actually, it was more for the illustrations than the actual story, which makes this incredibly hilarious).
That's all of them. I only managed to rid myself of four things. I looked at other things and thought, "Oh, I'll totally wear this again," even though I know that I totally won't. Oh well. Baby steps.
2002-08-24
Avoidance
The great Ruths' house member shuffling has officially begun. I'm going to go shopping so I don't have to introduce myself to anyone new or say goodbye to anyone old.
2002-08-24
Don't be a stranger, be a friend
I'm not very good at following through with my plans. Here is what I really did last night:
1. Drank gin and tonic
2. Found a place to order a new record player needle from
3. Listened to "Don't Be a Fool, Billy" on repeat.
4. You could say I tided up in that I took all of my recyclables downstairs and moved all of the dirty dishes to one area.
5. Curled up in bed to read After the Quake and promptly fell asleep. At 12:30. Par-tay.
That's 1.5/4, I guess. Oh, except I did take some time to ponder my life using words written by other people; it all comes down to this:
I was waiting on a moment but that moment never came.
2002-08-23
Rockin' Friday night
My plans for the evening include one or a combination of the following:
1. Drink gin and tonic
2. Tidy up
3. Make mixtapes/cds
4. Philosophically examine my life using lyrics from pop songs
2002-08-23
Feelin' fine
Phone transfer #3 was a success!!!
And, with only 8 minutes left to go, there doesn't seem to be any way the telephones can win now!
2002-08-23
Score 1 for the machines
My previous success in transferring the phone has been nullified by the fact that I just accidentally hung up on a nice man whom I couldn't understand while I was simultaneously trying to help someone whose computer wasn't working and transfer him to the reference desk across the hallway.
But, with only 50 minutes left to go, I'm at least breaking even!
2002-08-23
I am able to perform simple tasks with electronics
In addition to my double shift, today marks an outstanding day in my employment at the public library in that I successfully transferred a phone call for the first time.
2002-08-23
Lunchtime extravaganza of ick
I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich last night so I could eat it for lunch today. I don't really like peanut butter and jelly, but I wanted to get my lunch out of the way and we didn't have anything else that I wanted to bring with me. So anyway, I went downstairs and figured that since I'm saving some money and eating something icky (rather than dashing down the street to Jerusalem Garden or Jimmy John's), I deserve to at least buy a cold beverage from the pop machine. I insert my money (dime after dime after dime), and then I watch, as though it is occurring in slow motion, as my finger pushes the Mountain Dew button. I was thinking, "No, stop, please . . ." but it was too late. I meant to get orange juice, which was the button right below Mountain Dew, but I was fooled by the cheery green color of both selections.
Blech. I only drink diet pop (or soda, if you will). This isn't for health reasons, per se, but because we only ever had diet pop around the house when I was little (my mom is diabetic and my dad just started drinking it out of sympathy, I guess). And now the regular stuff tastes just terribly awful. I feel like it's a meal in a can. It's really heavy and it makes my stomach hurt.
So anyway, there I was at lunch with my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Mountain Dew. It was, without a doubt, one of the worst meals I have ever subjected myself to. The only redeeming value was my pretzels/raisins/m&m's mix (an aside - which new M & M color won the vote? I didn't notice anything wrong with the package that I had. And pink, lavender or aqua would definitely be wrong.)
I'm into my fifth hour at work. Working double shifts rules!
2002-08-22
Turn the air conditioner down. Please?
I spent my first 3 hours of work freezing, but now I turned the space heater under my desk on, and my knees are toasty warm. (Plus, I get to feel smug about wasting energy by running the heater below me while the air conditioner hums away above me.)
In other news, since I got here at 5 pm, no one has called except Marilyn on the second floor, and only oner person has asked me a question. The 5-9 shift sucks.
2002-08-21
They're just humans with wives and children
Everytime I see the Flaming Lips I arrive home covered in confetti. There are worse things to be covered in, though, so I don't mind.
We arrived at the show during De La Soul's set, and I was somewhat upset because (a) that meant we missed Modest Mouse and (b) I wanted to see all of De La Soul because who knows when I'll actually shell out my hard-earned money to see something that's not indie rock.
Oh well, the Flaming Lips alone were worth my $34.
All three bands did think, though, that they were in Detroit. "Thank you Detroit," said De La Soul and Flaming Lips. "Hello Motor City," said Cake, which prompted me to turn to Jessica and start to say, "Pontiac is the Motor City?" but I stopped halfway through when I realized that the guy behind me was saying exactly the same thing.
One life decision that I made today:
(1) If I am ever in a band that tours with the Flaming Lips, I'm going to make sure that I never schedule my band to play after the Flaming Lips. There's really no way to follow an act with giant balloons filled with confetti, 6 people in animal costumes dancing onstage, fake blood, and the most dedicated fans this side of the Grateful Dead. And that's not even taking the music into consideration. (Cake said, "Well, we have a trumpet," and quite frankly, I didn't really care that much.)
The bottom of my foot itches, but when I scratch it, it tickles, and so I'm sitting here scratching the bottom of my foot and giggling.
2002-08-20
People like me
I eat lunch outside when it's nice out, and today it was, so I did. All of the benches on the diag were taken, so I decided to sit on the benches that are built into the railing of the grad library 'porch.' There was someone sitting on the left side, so I automatically headed over to the right side in order to maintain my distance. However, my distance wasn't maintained for long, because everyone and his or her brother headed straight toward me! First, a woman sat down and ate her lunch about 5 feet from me, which wouldn't've been odd if this had been a normal bench. This bench, however, is about 100 feet long, so she had plenty of other sitting space from which to choose. Then, a man cam and sat down about 10 feet from her. Next, a couple came and sat down on the steps about 6 feet from my feet.
Let this day be proof of my magnetism.
2002-08-19
I'm cold, but I'm not complaining about it
Today my email asked me, "Are you ready to change your life?"
And I thought, "Well, obviously not."
Weekend update:
I saw a beautiful abandoned building in Detroit Saturday night, decided not to go to the show that I was in Detroit for, watched some movies, then got in my car and headed east to watch the sun rise (it was already 4:30, I figured what the hey). The sky never turned any colors other than yellowish-grey, and I arrived home at 7:02 am. I slept until noon then got up and pattered around my room until about 5:00, when I made a whole bunch of food.
But I still feel bad about yesterday. Or Saturday or Friday or whenever that happened.
Tomorrow, though, I have been promised unlimited sunshine, which is good ('cos it's, like, the Flaming Lips) and bad (quite expensive, in a week that will be heavy with cd purchases (Pulp, Spoon, Neko Case, who knows what else)).
2002-08-17
I do stupid things sometimes that even I can't understand
I waited and waited, and then what did I do?
I left my house.
2002-08-16
Books
Something I like to do is to look up books that I don't like on Amazon. I find reviews by people that also didn't like the book, and I read them and I feel smug and happy to know that my dislike is shared by some other person.
Conversely, I sometimes look up books that I like. I read the bad reviews and feel very angry at the people that wrote them.
2002-08-16
At work
Today I returned to the sorting room after an unintentionally long break, and the Greek woman that works the desk in the mornings said, "Superkesss closed!" She sounded very upset.
I said, "What," which is my usual reply to pretty much everything that she says.
"Supercuts closed," she alliterated.
2002-08-16
Cheese & cake
I made a frozen cheesecake. I just went downstairs to see if it was frozen, and when I peeled back the tin foil it looked so beautiful and smooth that I couldn't bring myself to poke it to see if it was frozen, let along cut a slice out of it.
2002-08-15
Street work
Today is Thursday, my day to sleep in since I don't have to be at work until 1:30. So what happens? Why, very loud street construction begins outside my window at 6:30 AM, of course!
2002-08-13
F, as in flower, flop, fifth, and free
What with all the gel-enhanced insoles you can by for your shoes these days, it seems as though blisters should be a lot more comfortable than they actually are.
Also, I think that if I stare at myself in the mirror long enough, I can actually see pimples forming.
Here is a question unrelated to the fact that my body is apparently falling apart: what would you do if you didn't know how to spell something? I answer this by saying, "I'd type it into a word-processing program and run the spell-checker." Another top answer is "Look in a dictionary." For one resident of Ann Arbor, though, the answer is, "Well, I'd call someone at the library." It would never ever occur to me to call an unsuspecting hourly clerk at the library and ask them how to spell 'feisty.'
"F-E-I-S-T-Y," I said.
"OK," he said, "S-C,"
"Efffff."
"S as in sam?"
"No, f as in. . . " and then I couldn't think of any f-words, except for the f-word, and I didn't think that that would be appropriate.
Now that I think about it, I'm not really sure if he was trying to spell 'feisty,' or a smiliar-sounding word that started with Sc-. But then again, I can't think of any similar-sounding words that start with Sc- (Of course, I could think of any words that started with F then, either.).
2002-08-12
Vending machine blues
Previously, when purchasing junk food from vending machines, I have always felt smug about the fact that I have never been left gazing at a package of cookies desperately clinging to the machine.
Those days are over.
2002-08-11
A weekend full of fun fun fun
Everybody's weekend should've been as filled with ice cream as mine was.
First, there was my grandparents' fiftieth wedding anniversary party on Thursday. It was a surprise party - my grandma had told her children repeatedly that she didn't want any big thing planned for their anniversary - and everyone did a surprisingly good job of keeping it a secret. So good, in fact, that my grandma called a bunch of people and invited them over for a hot dog roast on Thursday night, sending her daughters into a frenzy trying to re-call everyone and tell them that there would be no hot dog roast, but they were welcome to come for cake at 7:30 (the dinner was children/grandchildren only). They did, however, forget to call my great aunt and uncle and they arrived at about 5:00, with hot dogs. (We let them join us for dinner.)
Everything went well, although my aunt Bev had to tell them about the party before they got there. She told them, first, that they had about an hour to get ready to go to dinner, but my granpa (who has Parkinson's disease) acted very worried about it, so she finally told him that it was just going to be a catered dinner for family at their church, and that later the rest of the church was going to join us for cake and ice cream.
It was a very long night. I was ok for a while - dinner, picture-taking, even 'volleyball' with the little cousins, but after a while all I wanted to do was crawl into a corner and go to sleep. Instead, I studied my grandma and grandpa's wedding photograph, and came to the conclusion that they were quite an attractive pair. An attractive pair that didn't look Mennonite at all. I asked my mom about this later, but she said that she didn't know exactly what happened. C'mon, my grandpa was Amish when he was born - how'd he end up marrying a woman wearing earrings? And, more importantly, how did he end up raising his family in a conservative Mennonite kind of way?
Anyway, I stayed overnight there and the next day my grandma got back at all of us for the party by making us wallpaper her kitchen.
The next day was the Zook reunion - a three-day extravaganza (I only went to one) of food, Rook, softball, and togetherness for the descendents of Dan and Edna Zook (that'd be my paternal grandmother's dad and mom). The Zook reunion happens every three years, and it is always mostly full of people that I don't know. People are introduced to me as "your dad's cousin's daughter's husband" and five minutes later I've forgotten both their name and their connection to me. No one is my age (or if they are, they've cleverly managed to avoid it), and the people that I'd actually be interested in hearing about (my aunts, uncles, and cousins that are all currently living in south/east America), are too busy visiting with people they only see every three years to spend time with my family (whom they only see once every year).
This year's highlights came with the advent of the Zook Cook Book (oh the Dr. Seussian delight!), and the fact that my cousin Katie has a crush on my cousin Jeremy (who, in a Tenenbaumesque twist, is adopted). And EVERYONE in my family is becoming increasingly unMennonite looking:
Grandparents: semi-traditional conservative Mennonite - grandma wears covering and skirts/dresses, doesn't cut hair, but they have a tv.
Children: 2 more traditional (coverings, dresses), 3 pretty laid back (no coverings, all wear jeans/tee shirts/whatever, haircuts, have teevees, etc.)
Grandchildren: all non traditional
If this trend continues, what will happen to my children?
2002-08-06
We had funeral sandwiches for lunch
There are no sno-cones at the zoo. They have these weird, sno-cone shaped, ice cream novelity things that they keep in the freezer, but those aren't sno-cones. Sno-cones are one scoop of shaved ice and some syrup. You have to be able to see the person actually scooping the ice, or else it's not a sno-cone.
The zoo does have polar bears and camels and capybaras galore, though. It also has the unique ability to make me, while I am within the confines of it's walls, the "Cool Cousin." "I want to go with Kim(my)," screeched many a youngster. Such are the joys of being an adult that acts like a fourteen year old.
After the whole exhausting day at the zoo, everyone was going to my parents' house to grill hot dogs. I, however, was dumped off at my car in Brighton to return to my house to eat frozen pizza and make a grocery list and pack. I wanted desperately to go with them, if only because on Thursday, when I see my cousins again, I will no longer be the cool one. I've briefly tasted popularity. . . how can I go back?
2002-08-05
It all started because I wanted a sno-cone. . .
My grandma takes all of her younger grandkids on a trip every year. When I was little, we went to Sea World, a zoo in Chicago, Wisconsin via the ferry across Lake Michigan, and once she even took the older kids to Colorado. I haven't been able to go on any of this trips for a while - jobs and things have gotten in the way. They were alwasy fun, though and tomorrow I am going to the Detroit Zoo (which is in Royal Oak) with my mom and grandma and some aunts and cousins.
Now, I know all of the anti-zoo arguments, but really, where else am I going to see a polar bear in my lifetime? And don't give me any of that book nonsense.
My teeth still hurt.
It has also been pointed out to me that Whitestrips is one word. Sorrreeeeee.
2002-08-05
I live in a historic* district
The large crack in my ceiling has turned into a large, poorly photographed**, piece of plaster hanging from my ceiling.
*Historic just means old.
**Donations to buy me a real digital camera are currently being accepted.
2002-08-05
White Strip(e)s Week
Since I enjoy subtitling parts of my life, this week is entitled "White Strip(e)s Week."
"White Strips Week" because Meijer finally had Crest White Strips on sale, and with my seven dollar coupon and 4 dollars in pop can returns, the final price came to right around $20. And $20 is a small price to pay for beautful, sparkling white teeth.
Now, each box of White Strips comes with a little booklet of highly attractive people who tell you how easy and fun White Strips are to use:
"I use White Strips at work," says beautiful Linda.
"I don't have time to use White Strips twice a day, so I use two treatments back to back. The results are the same!" says handsome Brian.
"I use White Strips while I run errands or check my email or do laundry or scratch my butt," say a host of others.
What all of these gorgeous individuals don't talk about, though, is the pain. The last time I remember my teeth huring like this was when I had braces in high school. Every week or so, I went to the orthodontist to have them tightened, and for a few hours after that, they hurt a lot. For a few hours. The pain inflicted by White Strips seems to know no end. The enclosed booklet does state that some users may experience gum discomfort, but that this discomfort is only temporary. . .but does that mean it will stop hurting a few hours or in two weeks after I finish the entire box?
Honestly, after I buy some sort of painkiller, the White Strips will no longer bother me, but what do they put in these flimsy plastic strips that makes them hurt as much as a mouth full of metal?
Moving on, this week is also "White Stripes Week" because if the situation was different, I would be going to see the White Stripes, Detroit's finest or most overrated rock 'n' roll band (depending on which magazine you subscribe to), on Thursday. The way things happened, though, is that I will be going to my grandparents' 50th Wedding Anniversary party instead, which I believe is being held here. I'm not as upset about missing the show as I feel like I should be, which makes me think that maybe I've reached the point in my life where I realize that my family is more important than a rock show.
After the anniversary party, I have a family reunion on the other side of my family. This means that I will miss Summersmash 2002. The three (or at least two) previous Summersmashes have all been in June, and I have always missed them due to the fact that I was (1) at home and/or (2) busy. This year I was in Ann Arbor and had nothing at all to do in June. So what happens? They change it to August. Thanks guys!
p.s. I realize that the preceeding paragraph seems to negate the statement that I made about my family being more important than a rock show. To clarify, I'm not really upset that I have to go to a family reunion instead of Summersmash. I'm upset because Summersmash somehow manages to avoid me every single year. If the situation was reversed, I wouldn't try to avoid Summersmash.
2002-08-04
Somewhere, someone is having a feast
Foods that have mysteriously disappeared from my house in the last few weeks:
About 1/2 of a container of perfectly good, not yet spoiled, sour cream
4 Morningstar Farms Buffalo Wings (they were designated 'house' food, but since I had been the only one eating them for weeks and weeks and weeks, I have to wonder why the were suddenly gone the moment that I wanted them)
A WHOLE LOT of crunchy mixed sprouts. Way, waaaaaaaay more than anyone could have finished in one night. Which is what happened: one day they were there, the next they were gone.
Four onion bagels - in just a few hours!
Of course, the things that I'd like to disappear - the three thousand year old feta cheese, that leftover brown stuff that has been in tupperware in the back of the fridge for as long as I can remember - won't go anywhere.
2002-08-02
I am a wuss
It's a nice cool evening, and I don't have anything to do or anywhere to be for a while, so I thought I'd read on my porch. But then a bee chased me away! At first I was just annoyed that it kept flying around my feet, but then I was scared, because, even though I managed to wave it away a couple of times, IT KEPT COMING BACK! It was the same bee! So now I am back in my room where it is hot, because I'm afraid of the psychotic bee on my porch.
2002-08-02
My new sandals
I visted three different Meijer stores last night looking for the sandals that I wanted. And now I am wearing them, despite the fact that they hurt my feet. My beautiful, nearly ideal, and totally cheap sandals hurt my feet. Right now, I'm blaming the fact that 12 blocks is just too far to walk in new shoes, any kind of new shoes. My beautiful cheap sandals are NOT hurting my feet.
I also bought some blue Pepsi and wandered around pretending that I was drinking Windex.
2002-08-01
My blue summer
I signed in at work today and I thought, "8/1? August?"
Disbelief also flooded my life yesterday.
Pepsi Blue?
No, really.
Pepsi Blue?
2002-08-01
Well, there was a horse named Seabiscuit . . .
Today I said that Lakemuffin would be a good name for a pet.
2002-07-30
Under the wire
Today at work I talked shit about the French language to a coworker and a man who was looking for French textbooks because he is going to France.
I also helped a man find a play.
"Do you know anything about Shakespeare? Y'know, he wrote "Romeo and Juliet." And there was something else. Something that started with an O L, I think."
"Othello?"
"That's it!"
Those two Shakespeare classes I took really paid off!!
2002-07-29
Cereal
Cereals that I wish were still available:
Cap'n Crunch's Ship Shake - Butterscotch flavored liquid cereal. "As good for you as a bowl of oatmeal."
Corn Crackos - Featuring Cracko Bird. tee hee hee
Crazy Cow - Cereal that makes (artificially flovered) Strawberry Milk!
Freakies - Cereal of gremlin-like monsters.
Fruit Brute - The forgotten werewolf companion of Frankenberry, Count Chocola, and Boo Berry.
Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs - Gee, do you think this one had any sugar in it?
Orange Quangaroos - The last quangaroo was killed by the Quaker Oatmeal Man in 1967.
Quisp - "For QUAZY Energy"
Rice Honeys - I like Buffalo Bee.
Sir Grapefellow - Is it just me, or is that the Purple Pie Man from Strawberry Shortcake?
Sugar Cornfetti - Sometimes my mom and dad say things like "You look cornfused." Maybe because they were raised with Cornfetti and without air cornditioning and they aren't corncerned with sounding, uh, corny. Also, what would happen if Cap'n Crunch and Captain Jolly (Sugar Cornfetti's spokespirate) met each other on the high seas?
Vanilly Crunch - The "Sexy Whale" box.
Wackies - This cereal contains banana flavored bits, because it's too damn hard to cut up a fresh banana.
Go here: The Imaginary World, because it is the BEST WEBSITE EVER.
2002-07-29
Super Furry Animals (baby)
Sept 18 - St. Andrew's Hall - Super Furry Animals
I am happy. My favorite band in the whole world is going to be in Detroit in September and it makes me want to go out and teach the world to sing.
I was a teenage goth wannabe before the Super Furry Animals. A very unusual radio program played "Something 4 the Weekend," and I was. . . I was . . . I was totally blown away. It was like the Beach Boys, if the Beach Boys weren't so square and were Welsh and had a tank. I bought the cd, and I felt like I was the only person in the whole city that owned it (and, seriously, it seems very likely that I was one of the first midwestern Americans to own it). I never heard them on the radio other than on specialty shows and people always giggled when I mentioned the name. And I didn't mind. I was happy that these weren't songs that were on the radio every half hour (oh, that first refreshing blast of indie snobbery!), and while researching the band on the internet (it was also the first year of internet access at my house), I was suddenly face to face with an whole new world of music.
It's been six years since then. Each album still sounds as fresh as the day it was made. And I am going to see my most favorite band in the whole world in a little over a month.
2002-07-28
I can't give you any new information
I watched part of "Waking Life" today. For some reason I expected it to be more like the time Homer Simpson ate that chili pepper and talked to the Johnny Cash coyote.
It wasn't like that at all.
2002-07-28
More world-record food, and sleep
We went to see The Shins last night, and I thought, "What the hell, is there an indie rock convention in town?" The Magic Stick was packed, which is very unusual. Or maybe I just usually see bands there that no one else likes. Whatever the case, I was sweaty and I forgot and wore the most uncomfortable shoes in the world so I couldn't even dance dance dance like I had jello in my pants pants pants (er, skirt).
Then we went to Jimmy Johns where I got the biggest pickle I have ever seen (it's my week of world records in food, apparently. well at least the pickle and that burrito). I like pickles, really, I like them a whole lot. Ever since my freshman year, I have eaten a big pile of them with nearly every meal, but this almost inedible. But I managed.
While we were eating, we watched The Wasp Woman, and then I crawled into bed at about 4:30 am. The last thing I remember thinking was, "If those church bells wake me up tomorrow morning, there's going to be some serious trouble."
Then I woke up at 8:30am and I couldn't remember anything. I thought I was at my grandma's house and that it was really 8:30 pm, and that I had just taken a nap and had to get up and eat dinner. I then realized that I wasn't at my grandmother's house and I tried to figure out when I went to bed and how long I'd been asleep. Finally, I figured out that it was morning and I had really been asleep for very long. I tried to remember one single thing that I learned in calculus and I fell asleep.
2002-07-27
Have a hot time in Hell, MI!
I went to some yard sales this morning, but apparently no one in this two-bit town has any old junk that I want to buy, which strikes me as odd because I've never considered myself to be that particular about the old junk that I buy. That being said, I will not be content with any typewriter other than the beautiful blue one that I saw at St. Vincent DePaul two weekends ago.
I get bored and I drive around, because I can't really feel at home in a place where I don't know what is outside the city limits. Today I went to Chelsea and saw the Jiffy Mix plant and then I drove up the Hell, MI just because I thought I might be able to buy some sort of cheesy souvenir t-shirt there. Hell, MI, is smaller even than Clarksville, MI, and I feel that they could capitalize on their name a bit more. And when I was almost there, I realized that I didn't even bring my camera with me, so now I've been to Hell and all I got was this lousy. . . nothing. Not even a keychain or something.
When I got back in Ann Arbor, through some very strange circumstances (I have studied the map, and I will never ever understand how I ended up here again), I stopped at Best Buy because I wanted to buy the new Flaming Lips album, and I'm embarrassed to go into a real record store to get it because it came out a-week-and-a-half-ago, and I'd look like the ultimate lame-o for not already having it. I realize that that sentence is one of the very stupidest things ever thought by anyone, but I really did believe it and I really did buy the cd at Best Buy (and it was only $12, which seemed really phenomenally cheap for a cd these days).
I also stood and gazed at the first season of M*A*S*H DVD. I held it in my hands, and said, "Oh, DVD, the things I would do if you were mine. " (The thing that I would do, of course, is sit in my basement and watch it all in one sitting, probably.) Instead, I sadly placed it back on the shelf and turned around and found out that there are is a series of Creature Double Feature DVDs! And they're on the $10 and under rack! And I bought one ("The Wasp Woman" and "Attack of the Giant Leeches")! And I'll probably go back and buy the rest of them sometime later in my lifetime.
I almost got into a major car accident on the way home. I stepped on the brakes and the wet road kept on sliding by under my tires. I thought, "Great, the last thing in life that I ever bought was 'Attack of the Giant Leeches.'" But my car did eventually stop, albeit with a great deal of screeching. Yeesh. I wasn't even driving fast. I was well within the reasonable and prudent guidelines that I set for myself.
Once my friend Beth was driving me and her sister home from school, and a school bus pulled this funny maneuver on the other side of the road and we ended up rear ending the car in front of us. It was an ultra-slow speed crash - we must have been going about 20 - but it was fast enough to smash up the front of the car, and her sister hit her head on something and got a bump. I remember standing in a ditch in the rain while Beth talked to the police. The paramedics asked me if I was alright, and I said "Yes, I'm fine," because I was. They seemed disappointed and had to borrow my watch so that they could take everyone's pulse.
2002-07-27
Burrito
Today I ate the biggest burrito that I have ever eaten in one sitting.
2002-07-25
Cookies
This scene has happened once during each of my past two days at work:
Coworker: Do you want to take a break?"
Kim: Yeah
[Kim and Coworker exchange random pleasantry while Kim hurriedly collects her belongings. Kim then sprints down four flights of stairs to the staff lounge where she purchases a package of two Grandma's Homestyle Fudge Chocolate Chip Cookies. She also counts the remaining number of cookies in the machine to ensure that she is still the only person purchasing these particular cookies.]
Being frightfully obsessive about things like cookies makes it easier to forget about the things that my life lacks.
2002-07-25
Kimberly M. Narcoleptic
I thought I was supposed to work 1-5 today at the public library, so I got up early and went to the science library from 10-12. I was reading a book after I ate my lunch and a piece of paper with a work schedule written on it fell out. I took a look and it said, "Thu 5-9," and I thought, "Hmm, maybe that's last week's," but I didn't work 5-9 last Thursday either. I went to the public library a little before 1, and lo and behold, I was scheduled to work the dreaded 5-9 shift (well, not dreaded, I just felt that it needed an adjective of some kind). Suddenly I found myself face to face with four random hours of freedom in the middle of the afternoon. So what did I do? I ate a popsicle and went to sleep.
2002-07-24
Rediscovering the joy of ebay
The public library book that the university library stole from me has been returned!!!
I have also discovered a new way to waste time at work, a way that I used to waste a lot of time (and money), but that I had to stop doing when I became poor: eBay. In the last two days, I've won two auctions (both were Wilco albums since Saturday's show was the BEST EVER, and, formerly, I have always just gotten their albums from the library). The rule is that I can only bid during public library working hours. I figure that this is a good idea because I'm only here for 4 hours out of 24, and that puts a definite limit on the damage that this can do to my bank account.
2002-07-23
www.clarksville.com
Clarksville is on the internet! With pictures and everything!!!
Ah, Clarksville. The home of my youth [sniffs and wipes away a tear].
2002-07-22
Ratw
If you want to see a little Welsh thing do a handstand, balance a fish on his nose, and juggle chainsaws, you should go here
2002-07-22
Because pies are what homeless people really need
A few weekends ago I drove to Toledo, and I spent much of my time marvelling at the number of Big Boys that are planted throughout this fair land. I decided that I will someday take a road trip in which I stop at every single Big Boy along the way and have a slice of pie.
I mentioned this to Karisa when I met her for a very early breakfast at Big Boy on Saturday. She said that I could buy whole pies and give them to homeless people. This is a better idea than mine for two reasons. First, I wouldn't gain three thousand pounds from eating slice after slice after slice of Big Boy pie. Second, I could have people sponsor my trip: "Hello, my name is Kim and I am driving to Memphis to buy pies for the homeless. Would you like to donate some money to my trip? Any amount is helpful and welcome."
2002-07-20
Momlinguistics
Words that I've never heard anyone but my mom use:
(1) suckwad
(2) dingbat
I have decided to skip the baby shower tomorrow, as Linda has already had her baby and is in the hospital and won't be at the shower. Instead, since I am already at home, I am merely going to put in an appearance, deliver my gift, and whisk myself away to the Wilco show in Royal Oak.
*note* I made my own wrapping paper for the present out of a paper bag and poster paint. It's so great I almost sprinted down to the Art Fair last night and sat up a booth.
2002-07-19
So, what's new with me?
Two of my friends from high school now have babies.
But I have a dvd player. And a rubber duckie named Edward.
So there.
2002-07-18
Hah
Yesterday I commented to someone that I hoped it would rain on the Art Fair. Well, I got my wish. I should have specified, though, that I didn't want it to rain on me.
2002-07-17
Hot weather makes me lazy
Woke up dehydrated and skipped the science library part of my workday. I really should've gone, but standing up made me feel woozy so I climbed back into bed.
I went downstairs to get some water and I found out that there are a LOT of people here during the day. Cameron and his wife were eating lunch and Matt was downstairs watching cartoons. I asked him if he didn't have a job or something he should be at. I mean, I had a job I was supposed to be at.
(OK, so there were only three people here, but that seems like a lot even in the evenings these days. People gots things to do in the summa, apparently.)
I remember once during the school year I skipped class and stayed home all day (I skipped more than once, I just didn't spend those days at home), and EVERYBODY was here. It was crazy. School was apparently making me miss out on everything fun.
Later I'm going to fight my way through the Art Fair crowd and work the mysterious 3:30 to 7:30 shift at the public library. I hope they sell sno-cones at the art fair. I would be less anti-art fair, if that was the case.
Listening to: the Dusty Springfield Anthology - where the hell's my eyeliner?
2002-07-15
Wasting time at work
My former Shakespeare professor's wife is running for the state senate.
Oh the things one can learn from the Art Fair guide.
2002-07-15
Reasons why I will never be hired to be an orientation leader
While I was eating lunch on the diag, I listened in on an orientation tour. Their "UM-RULEZ" guide spent 10 minutes explaining to them that if they step on the M in the diag before their first bluebook exam, they will fail that exam . Should they accidentally step on the M, he said, they can remedy this by running naked from one arbitrary point to another.
I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like orientation should actually help you learn something about what college will be like, rather than just present 'interesting' bits of university folklore. When I had orientation, I found out about all kinds of things that I had to do or that I couldn't do or the scary consequences that would result. It was three days, at least one day longer than the orientations at schools my friends were attending, and it made me never ever want to come back here, ever.
If I ran orientation:
I would require all people who had not grown up near a Meijer store to visit one, preferably between the hours of 12pm and 6am.
I would, contrary to what I heard one tour guide telling a group the other day, tell them to definitely bring a car if they have one. Sure, they might have to park far away, but the fact that they will be able to get out of Ann Arbor whenever they want to will make living here less oppressive.
I wouldn't tell anyone that stepping on an M will make them fail anything. I would tell them that if they are stupid or if they don't study they may fail their first bluebok.
I wouldn't lead them around campus, because by the time they get here in the fall they would forget everything anyway. Instead, I would just let them wander around town and figure out what, exactly, there is to do here.
I wouldn't be pro-UM. I would say "This school is a good school, but it is by no means the best school. If you are thinking of going into, say, journalism, you should get on a bus and head straight for East Lansing. School is just school and that's all.
I would openly ridicule the Michigan Daily and the fact that it thinks it is a legitimate newspaper.
I would tell them that they might not like their roomates, but that they will have to make an effort to get along with them anyway.
I would make fun of the MSA.
I would tell them that the fact that most of them will be away from home for the first time in their lives is no reason to act like children.
2002-07-15
Definitely not healthy
And now, the segment you've all been waiting for, My Weekend in Beverages!
Friday:
1 glass of diet Faygo cola
24 oz water
1/2 glass diet Faygo cola
1 can diet Mountain Dew
1 bottle Red Stripe
approx 12 oz water
Saturday:
3 cans diet Mountain Dew (phew!)
1 bottle diet Pepsi
trace amount of Vanilla Coke
1 big cup of diet Pepsi from Taco Bell
1 glass ice water
Sunday:
2 cans diet Pepsi Twist
2 glasses diet Faygo cola
1/2 mug fruit punch
1/2 mug milk (with a muffin)
1 bottle Bell's Pale Ale
1 glass water
I think tomorrow should be an all-water day.
2002-07-15
Call me fascist but I know that someday happy will be all that matters
I went to Meijer to buy muffin-making materials, and I ended up buying a lot of other stuff that I probably don't need. I did finally get a present for Linda's shower, though, which is something I needed to do since it is less than a week away. It is, sadly, quite unimaginative, but I figured I could make up for that by making my own card and wrapping paper.
I had something like 14 items tonight, and because I couldn't bear to part with two, I couldn't go through an express lane and had to wait two thousand hours in a regular one. I did, however, read Weekly World News from cover to cover. Selected stories:
- Pizza delivering prostitutes in Rome. They call their business "Piece and Pizza," although I have to wonder why a Roman business would have an English name. . .
- Satan dumps rock 'n' roll! He now prefers rap.
- Terrorists are hiding weapons in stealth bras.
- The US is developing a 'cold bomb' to eliminate hell.
Good, quality, supemarketline reading.
I got home and ate veggie pigs in blankets, first opting to keep my three chosen condiments (ketchup, relish, and saurkraut) in their own separate dollops, and then decided to mix them all together into one fantastic uber-condiment. I then set about on my "bake-to-forget-your-troubles" project. First I made blueberry muffins, which turned out kind of bad. I was dismayed, so I decided the next round would be bread. Beer and cheese bread, to be specific. It isn't bad really, but it's really not good either. I finished the night with lemon poppyseed muffins, which turned out the best of all three attempts, and I am happy because I'll have something slightly interesting on which to breakfast tomorrow.
I was listening to the Dismemberment Plan while I was baking, and I suddenly felt very very old. The album had this nostalgic air about it, of my first year of college, dorm life, and the sulky kind of teenager that I once was. sigh. I feel miles away from that and I'm glad, but the fact that I've lost many things that I considered important characteristics of myself worries me and I wonder how much more I'll lose as I get older.
2002-07-14
lazy sunday afternoon
I spent yesterday driving around Detroit and it made me very happy. I meant to go shopping, but I couldn't find any of the places where I wanted to go, so instead I just counted the White Castles and Farmer Jacks and Coney Islands.
Then when we got back, we watched this History Channel special called "American Eats: History on a Bun" (almost as good as "American Drinks: History in a Glass"), and they went through an entire segment on the hot dog without ever once mentioning Detroit's love of the Coney dog.
We also watched the beer episode of "Unwrapped." Everytime I've ever watched "Unwrapped," I've always wondered why the rest of the people in that diner don't turn around and glare at the man who is talking loudly about ice cream novelties or hot dogs. Yesterday I realized it was because it isn't a real diner. The thought had never occurred to me before.
Today I meant to actually do something, but since I couldn't remember what it was, I watched "The Birds" instead and later I want to drink the rest of my beer and make muffins. Hopefully at the same time.
2002-07-13
Chapter 109, in which Kim goes to a rock show
When I was leaving the grad library yesterday, all of the alarms went off. I went to the circ desk and showed them that I had some books and a video from the public library. They took these things away from me and desensitized them for me, but the alarms went off again while I was leaving anyway.
After collecting my paycheck, I sat down to eat my lunch. I decided to read my book and . . . . it was gone! I never got it back from the grad library! I had to go to work, so I didn't have time to go back right then and ask them about it, but I figured it wouldn't be a big deal - that's where it had to be.
I went back at 5, and asked about it. There were different people working at the circ desk, and a guy went somewhere and looked for it, but he said that they didn't have it. But they totally DO have it! That's the only place that it took it out of my bag all day!
So now I'll probably have to pay for it, which makes me really upset because one time when I was reading it I thought, "Phew, this is one of the worst books I've ever read. I'm sure glad I didn't pay for it."
After that, this happened on the way home:
"Hey baby, what's your name?"
"Martha."
"Hey, come over here a second."
"Actually I'd rather just go home."
And then when I got home I couldn't watch The Simpsons because one of the housemates was watching golf.
The night did redeem itself, though, with the Soledad Brothers.
2002-07-10
radio shmradio
I don't know if you read Entertainment Weekly. . .and don't worry if you don't want to admit it. The only reason that I read it is because someone who doesn't live in this house anymore never changed his subscription. Anyway, here is a letter from Steve Smith,production director/image director of Clear Channel, regarding an earlier article about satellite radio.
************************************
Satellite radio is not the answer to good radio, much like cable TV is not the answer to good TV. Both just give you more choices of crap.
Radio is categorized, and it ought to be. Only a slim number of people would like to hear Ja Rule, Rusted Root, Barry Manilow, and Dwight Yoakam on the same radio station. If you are actually looking for a station that will play Norah Jones, B-Tribe, Ned Otter, etc., then look for your closest college radio station. Give them a good listen. I guarantee you that after 30 minutes of pure hell, you will switch back to a Clear Channel Radio station because we play the hits.
************************************
You heard the man - if you like more than one kind of music at the same time, YOU ARE A FREAK OF NATURE. Clear Channel knows what's best for you, no, what's best for all of us, and is here to help by playing the same 15 songs over and over.
Bleh. Feel free to send Steve email at [email protected]
I am currently enjoying the pure hell that is my college radio station.
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